Secrets
by middaymoon69
Summary: When she left, a lot of things remained unsaid. When she returned though, secrets can't be kept for long...
1. Chapter 1

Sara stared at the invitation in her hands, fear flooding through her veins. It had been just over a year since she had left Vegas and though she had never gone back, she had kept in touch with Nick and Catherine. They knew virtually nothing of her life, where she was living, what she was doing, but they were as open and honest with her as they had been before she had left. Now, Sara sat in her living room staring at the invitation.

_Dear Sara and guest,_

_You are cordially invited to the wedding of Nicholas Stokes and Mandy Webster at the Baptist Church, Las Vegas on the 23__rd__ of October. The ceremony will commence at 3pm with the reception to immediately follow at the Rampart Hotel._

_Please RSVP by the 26__th__ of September._

_We hope to see you there_

"Should I finally tell them about you sweetheart?" she said, looking down at her daughter who was lying sleepily in her bassinet. The baby was the reason she hadn't revealed anything about her life to her friends back home. Glancing at the calendar she saw that there was only three days left to respond and she bit her lip, picking up the phone, poised to make her decision.

"Hey it's Nick here."

"Nick, it's me, Sara." And she heard his cry of excitement from the other end of the line.

"Hey, how are you doing? It's great to hear your voice!"

"I know. It's been too long. I got your invitation. You're really getting married?"

"Yeah. Thanks for those tips you emailed me. I would have made a mess of proposing without your help."

"She obviously liked everything."

"Well yeah. I owe you. So are you coming? Please say you are."

"Yeah. I thought I'd come. I figured I'd come out of hiding now and see you all."

"Do you want to stay with Mandy and me? We have a spare bedroom."

"That would be good. I have something to tell everyone but I want to do it in person."

"What is it? Come on, give me a clue." But she laughed softly shaking her head though she knew he couldn't see her.

"Sorry Nick. You'll have to wait and see."

"Well, the room's yours for when ever you turn up."

"Well, I can leave Saturday, if that's all right."

"Sure. See you then. Do you mind if I tell Catherine you're coming?"

"OK. We can all go for dinner or something." And she smiled, hearing the familiar conversation overtake the initial excitement. "I'll see you on Saturday then."

"Looking forward to it." And he hung up the phone.

"Thanks for keeping quiet sweetheart." Sara said, putting the phone down and picking up her daughter, patting her on the back as she laughed softly. "Are you ready to meet mommy's friends? Hmm?" and she heard the baby laugh again. "Are you ready to meet your daddy?" she asked, more to herself and her daughter burped, oblivious to her mother's ramblings. Sara started pacing backward and forward, rocking her child to sleep.

"Come on honey, mommy needs to sleep too." But the baby simply reached up and tried to grab her dangling necklace. "Lilly," she sighed and the baby recognised her name, blinking up into her eyes. Sighing, Sara started to hum the tune of the lullaby she had sung to her daughter almost every night since they had come home.

"_Hush now, my darling  
>Be still love, don't cry<br>Sleep like you're rocked by a stream  
>Sleep and remember<br>My lullaby  
>And I'll be with you when you dream<em>

_Drift on a river  
>That flows through my arms<br>Drift as I'm singing to you  
>I see you smiling<br>So peaceful and calm  
>And holding you, I'm smiling, too<br>Here in my arms  
>Safe from all harm<br>Holding you, I'm smiling, too_

_Sleep now, my baby  
>Be still, love, don't cry<br>Sleep like you're rocked by a stream  
>Sleep and remember<em>

_My Lullaby  
>And I'll be with you when you dream<br>I'll be with you when you dream"_

Sara finished her song as she walked into the nursery, seeing that it had once again worked its magic and Lilly was asleep. She gently laid her down in her crib, pulling the cotton blanket up so she didn't get cold during the night before walking back out into her living room. Picking up the wedding invitation on the coffee table she sat back down, gazing at the excuse she had to introduce her baby to her former life.

'They don't know what's about to hit them.' She thought, standing up after a minute and clearing up the mess from the day before heading into her own room and letting sleep overcome her.


	2. Chapter 2

That Saturday, Nick was waiting impatiently at the bus station, Catherine by his side, anxiously anticipating Sara's return.

"This is her bus!" Nick said as the familiar transit company pulled into the station and they craned their necks, looking out for their friend.

"Sara!" Catherine called, seeing her friend at the door and she smiled, reaching back into the bus for something.

"What's that?" Nick asked, pointing to the beginning of something she was reaching for.

"I don't know, wait – Oh my god!" she said, recognising baby car seat. "She has a baby?"

"Can't be. Has to be another passenger's kid." Nick said, following her with his eyes as she walked over to them.

"Sara!" Catherine said embracing once she had reached them.

"It's good to see you again. Hey Nick."

"Who's this?" he said, still flabbergasted, but kissing her on the cheek all the same.

"This is my daughter." She said, pulling her out of the capsule.

"Daughter? Man, when you said a surprise, I thought you meant you died your hair blue or something." Nick said and she smiled.

"Yeah, my little girl." She smiled as Catherine reached for her.

"What's her name?" she asked, tickling the babe's stomach, watching her giggle.

"Lilly. She's four months old now."

"She's the spitting image of you Sara." Nick said, picking up Sara's bags and they walked towards his SUV.

"She's Gil's, isn't she." And Sara looked up sharply, as she started strapping her daughter in.

"How did you guess?" she asked as she got in beside the capsule, Catherine on the other side.

"Nick's right, she looks a lot like you, but she has Grissom's eyes. That, and this time last year was Warrick's funeral. You came back to him. Do the math." And the car lapsed into silence. "She's why you never contacted or asked about him – isn't she."

"I can't hide her any more. And I know she'll ask about her dad when she gets older. It's better he knows now."

"Do you want me to drop you off at the crime lab and you can talk to him now?" Nick asked as they headed down the strip.

"No. I'll go see him tomorrow. I've got a rental car to pick up then, and I still have a key to his place. I'll just head round." She rambled, not entirely sure herself what she was going to do.

"Well, regardless, she's beautiful." Catherine said, tickling the infant's stomach again, watching her squirm and laugh, and Sara smiled, closing her eyes and resting back in her seat.

"Congratulations, by the way Nick. I know I sent you a message when you got engaged, but I wanted to say so in person." Sara said once they reached Nick's house and he let them inside.

"Thanks. Mandy's at work at the moment, but you can tell her when she gets home."

"I will." She nodded, pulling a now sleeping Lilly out of the carrier and cradling her against her chest.

"Do you have a crib or anything for her?" Nick asked, nodding at Lilly and Sara shrugged.

"I've got a collapsible bassinet in one of my bags for her to sleep in."

"So that's what it is. I was wondering why you had so many bags."

"When was she born?" Catherine asked sitting down beside her.

"June 20th. I was in labour for close to forty hours before they took me into delivery."

"Stop with the horror stories. Mandy keeps telling me she wants a whole flock and so do I, but one more story of 20lb kids or anything like that and she'll be scared off it." Nick said with a smile, handing Sara and Catherine both a coffee.

They chatted easily for the next hour until both Nick and Catherine had to head into work.

"Please, don't tell Gil I'm here – or about Lilly. Let me tell him." Sara said as they got up to leave.

"He gets off shift at midnight." Catherine said, walking outside "I'll make sure that he leaves on time. You can meet him afterwards."

"Get some sleep Sara. You look exhausted." Nick said and she nodded, stifling a yawn. The CSI's left leaving Sara alone with her daughter.

She laid the babe down on the spare bed, smiling softly as she slept and pulled the basinet out of the bag, putting it together.

"Come on sweetheart." She said, picking her up and putting her in the bed. "Mommy needs to sleep too." Sara sat down on the bed, stretching her arms above her head and laid down, her head resting on the pillow.

"Oh god. What's Gil going to say when he sees you?" she pondered aloud, looking over at the clock on the bedside table. She had just ten hours till he would be back at his apartment and she needed to tell him now. "I hope he loves you like I do."


	3. Chapter 3

A few hours later Sara woke up to the cries of Lilly and she sat up, yawning as a soft tap came from the door. Mandy was standing there, holding a cup of tea, smiling.

"Hey. Nick told me you arrived, and that you had this little one." And she walked inside sitting down on the corner of the bed.

"Congratulations on your wedding by the way." Sara said sitting up and picking her daughter up.

"You too on this little one. What's her name?"

"Lilly. He didn't tell Gil, did he?"

"If you asked him not to, he wouldn't." Mandy said with a reassuring smile. "How have you been?"

"Well, for the first nine months I was gone I was getting more and more uncomfortable, then two days of pain before joy set in." she smiled, bouncing her daughter on her knee, trying to stop her crying. "Everything set for your wedding?"

"Not quite but we've got one more month. I have a dress fitting tomorrow."

"You must be getting so excited." She said, picking up a bag from the ground and pulling out one of Lilly's bottles.

"Can I feed her for you?" Mandy asked with a shy smile and Sara handed the baby to her.

"Go for it. She won't take the bottle from me." And she smiled. "Nick said you both really wanted kids and I wasn't to feed you and horror stories."

"Wouldn't stop me. I love kids and I love Nick – he doesn't get a say. We're having as many as my body will let us." She smiled more confidently.

"Well, if you want to babysit while I'm here, I'm sure I could make excuses to go out." And her eyes lit up. They sat silently for a few more minutes, Lilly drinking hungrily from the bottle.

"Would you mind giving me a lift to the rental car place in a few minutes? I've got a car for the month that I'm here."

"Sure." She said, handing Lilly back. "I think she might need a diaper change though before you go."

"That'd be right." Sara said and she laid a towel across the bed, pulling the jumpsuit off the babe.

Two hours later, a little before eleven, Sara let herself into Grissom's apartment and sat down on the sofa, bouncing Lilly on her knee.

"You must be tired again. You didn't sleep for very long, did you sweetheart?" she said, seeing her daughter's eyes droop. Humming the lullaby that Lilly was so fond of, she put her in the baby capsule, putting it down in Gil's room so that she could sleep in peace. Once she was asleep, Sara came back into the living room, sitting down again and picking up one of the books Grissom had evidently been reading the night before.

"The life cycles of swamp flies" she read aloud, opening the cover and beginning to read despite the mundane topic. She didn't even know how long she had been sitting there, reading when a soft noise brought her back to reality.

"Gil." She said, turning around and seeing him standing, shocked at the door.

"Sara." He breathed as she stood up, facing him. "What… when… when did you get back?"

"This morning. I came for Nick's wedding." And she smiled weakly at him, not sure what to say though she'd been pondering that question for days. She just stood there, putting the book back down and staring at him.

Grissom put his bag down beside the door and walked over to her as fast as the cumbersome furniture would let him and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I've missed you." He said simply, as her head rested against his shoulder and tears began to fall from her eyes. She couldn't believe that he had just accepted her back as quickly as that, after all these months she had shut herself off from him. "Why the tears?"

"I thought you'd be angry, just leaving you like I did."

"God, I love you too much to ever be angry at you." He said, kissing the top of her head.

"Yeah, well, wait a minute before you decide that." She said, pulling away and turning to go to his room.

"Is there a surprise for me in there?" he asked with a smile.

"Sort of." And she came back out, a sleeping Lilly in her arms.


	4. Chapter 4

"This is Lilly; my daughter… your daughter." She said looking anxiously up at him, seeing the shock in his face. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her, or even that I was pregnant but I just didn't know how. We were just clinging at each other for comfort but we didn't know what was happening."

"She's mine?" he said, still trying to comprehend her first statement and she nodded, adjusting her hold so that he could see his daughter's face. "When?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the babe.

"When I came back for Warrick's funeral, and we… we…" she trailed off, knowing she didn't need to continue.

"So, she's four months old?" he said, brushing the side of her face with the back of his finger.

"Born on the 20th of June." She said as he led her back to the couch and they sat down.

"Are you sure she's mine?" and a disgusted look crossed her face.

"Don't insult me." She snapped. "You are the only person I've been with in five years. How dare you accuse me of being some slut." And she stood up, moving away.

"Sara, I'm sorry – but you've just dropped a bombshell on me here. Besides, how was I to know if there had been any one else once you'd gone?"

"Well, there wasn't." she said, softening, realising that he had a point and sitting back down.

"Why are you telling me now?" he asked, still not looking away from the child.

"I… I… I don't know. I been trying to figure out a way to tell you since I found out I was pregnant, but every time I started dialling, I couldn't finish the number."

"So why now?"

"I promised Nick I'd come to his wedding, and I wasn't leaving her in San Francisco with my crack addict brother."

"Can I… can I hold her?" and she nodded

"Here you go sweetheart" and she handed her to him.

"She looks a lot like you."

"That's what most people say. Nick and Catherine both said they can see you in her though."

"They've met her?"

"They met me at the bus station this morning and if it's any consolation, they didn't know Lilly either." And Gil smiled as Lilly began squirm and wake.

She opened her eyes looked up at the unfamiliar person with the scrubby beard and began to cry. "What do I do?" Gil asked looking up as Sara.

"She's probably hungry." She said, taking her back and looking around for her hand bag. "I was sure I had another bottle here." And when she didn't find one, she sighed, turning back to Grissom.

"I've got milk in the fridge." He offered, trying to help.

"No, no. I ah…" she paused, not sure how to explain to him what she needed to do. It would be different if she had never left – he would have read the baby books with her, but now… "I have to breast feed her – she's not drinking cows milk yet. I did pump some for the journey, but it looks like I'm out." And she blushed. "I can go into another room if it bothers you." She added.

"No, its alright." He said, getting up and walking around into the kitchen to make them some tea.

Sara deftly unbuttoned the top few buttons of her shirt while Gil had his back turned and directed Lilly to feed. She latched on hungrily and Sara closed her eyes, the familiar warming sensation coursing through her veins as mother and child bonded. Grissom came and sat back down a minute later and put a mug of tea on the coffee table for her as he sipped his own.

"Milk, no sugar?"

"You remembered." She smiled as Gil watched her feed their daughter, her leg kicking compulsively.

"Does she always kick?"

"Only when I'm actually breast feeding, don't you sweetheart. When she's got a bottle, she's fine." And he sat, staring at the two, having basically materialised in his living room, not taking his eyes off either for as he could without blinking.

"Where are you staying?" he asked, voicing the question that had probed his mind for the last hour.

"With Nick and Mandy's. He said I could use their spare room."

"You could stay here if you wanted too." And she looked up at him, Lilly having just finished feeding. "Give me a chance to get to know my daughter."

"I didn't want to ask. You didn't even know I was coming back. You didn't know I had our child." She half whispered, re-buttoning her shirt, not looking up at him.

"Please, please stay here." He begged, putting his mug down.

"If that's what you really want, but its no picnic. She a four and four baby at the moment."

"Four and four?"

"Four hours sleep, four awake. She'll wake you up while you're sleeping before work."

"I don't care." He said, stretching his hands out to pick up his daughter.

"I'll ring Nick then, once he's had a bit of sleep and let him know then." And Gil smiled, recognising her acceptance.

"She's laughing now." Sara said as Grissom tickled Lilly's stomach. "She only started doing that last week."

"She really is gorgeous Sara. What's her full name?"

"Lilly Dianne Grissom." She smiled, playing with the little bit of hair on the top of her head.

"You gave her my name? And my mothers?"

"I was never going to lie to her about who you were. I just didn't know how to tell you."

"It's a beautiful name." and she smiled, cupping the back of Lilly's head.

"What was it like? Doing this all on your own?" he asked, seeing Sara yawn.

"Tiring, but I managed."

"You know I would have been there for you if you had asked. If you'd told me." And Sara looked up at him guiltily.

"There were times when I wanted help but I couldn't bring myself to ask."

"Not even your brother?" he asked.

"Then it would have been like taking care of two babies instead of one." She conceded.

"What about while you we're pregnant?"

"It was lonely. Especially when I felt her kick for the first time and every other time after that. All I could think of was you each time she did."

"Did she kick much?"

"Only when I was trying to sleep. You know, I brought something for you." And she got up, pulling something out of her hand bag.


	5. Chapter 5

"These were the sonogram pictures; from when I was pregnant." Sara said, giving them to him as he handed Lilly back to her. "You can keep them."

"Wow Sara." He said, looking at the four little pictures she had handed him.

"I figured you should have something from that time in Lilly's life that you missed out on."

"What was it like when she was born?" he asked, full of questions.

"You mean birth?" and he nodded.

"Long, excruciating and so worth it." She said, rocking Lilly, trying to coax her to sleep. Grissom cocked an eyebrow, not completely understanding what she was saying and she smiled. "It took close to forty hours before they took me into delivery, and even then, she was breech."

"Breech?"

"Fancy that – a scientist who doesn't know something." And he smiled as Lilly reached to grab his finger. "Breech is where the baby comes out backwards, you know, feet first instead of head first."

"Sounds painful."

"It was, but she made all the pains go away."

_Sara screamed as Michelle tried to calm her, a midwife dabbing her forehead with a wet cloth._

"_You're doing so well Sara; you just have to breathe through it." And she collapsed against the pillows as the contraction ended._

"_How much longer can this last?" she cried, her head rolling to the side, looking at the clock on the wall. 11:43, it read making it more than 36 hours she had been writhing in pain on the same hospital bed, no-one telling her what was happening to her own body or child._

"_Michelle, you have to tell me what's happening." But the doctor just smiled._

"_Olivia, your baby well on its way, just a few more minutes."_

"_Do something – get it out of me!" and she curled again, clutching the underside of her swollen belly._

"_OK, on the next one, I want you to push." She said and Sara nodded, the midwife dabbing at her head again, wiping the tears away. "Now Sara!" and she screamed loudly, Michelle watching the progress._

"_It's coming backwards Sara, breech. You need to push even harder." And Sara looked up at her venomously. _

"_I'm trying here, but it hurts… so much…"_

"_I know Sara, just breathe through it and push." She nodded, wiping her face, shouting out as she felt her body practically rip in two. "Good Sara – Really good!" and an unfamiliar cry echoed in the room._

"_It's a girl Sara. Congratulations." Michelle smiled, handing Sara her daughter and she took her, still crying, kissing the top of her head. "She's beautiful." But she didn't say a word in response._

"_My little girl…" she sighed, staring down at the child and the midwife pulled away the soiled sheets before reaching for the babe._

"_We have to clean both of you up Sara." Michelle said and she reluctantly let go of her daughter as they wiped both of them clear of blood and fluid. _

"_Here you are." The midwife said, handing the baby back a minute later once Sara was lying back in a fresh bed._

"_Do you have a name for her?"_

"_Not yet." She said softly still staring at the miracle in her arms._

"_You know Sara, I didn't say anything during your pregnancy, but you should tell the father." Michelle said, pushing the bed back to the room Sara owned in the clinic._

"_I will… one day." She breathed and it was the last word her friend got out of her before she was consumed by the baby._

"She fussy with going to sleep?" Gil asked as Sara shuffled Lilly in her arms.

"Yeah, I usually sing her the lullaby my mom used to sing to me."

"You can try and put her down in the bedroom if you like. My bed's big enough that she won't roll off." And she nodded.

"Time for sleep sweetheart." She said, standing up and walking into the room. Grissom watched as she half closed the door, laying her in the middle of the bed. He took their mugs back into the kitchen as a sweet melody flowed from the room and he walked back over, peering through the door.

"_I see you smiling  
>So peaceful and calm<br>And holding you, I'm smiling, too  
>Here in my arms<br>Safe from all harm  
>Holding you, I'm smiling, too<em>

_Sleep now, my baby  
>Be still, love, don't cry<br>Sleep like you're rocked by a stream  
>Sleep and remember<em>

_My lullaby  
>And I'll be with you when you dream<br>I'll be with you when you dream"_ she finished, sitting up and seeing that the trusty song had done its trick.

"You sing that to her every time you put her to sleep?" Gil said, sitting on the corner of the bed.

"Almost every time. When I was pregnant and wanted her to sleep I used to sing and worked pretty well. Now she can't sleep without it."

"You'll have to teach it to me." And she smiled.

"I'm going to go call Nick; he should be awake by now. Would you mind looking after her while I run back to his place for our bags?"

"Not at all." He said, and she brushed the side of his face with her hand as she pulled her phone out and walked back into the kitchen.

"Nick? It's Sara."

"Hey, how'd things go with Grissom?" he asked.

"Better than I expected. Listen, I'm going to stay here and give Gil a chance to get to know her."

"I thought you might."

"Is it alright if I swing by and get my bags?"

"Yeah, sure. We'll be here till noon."

"Ok, well, I'll see you in twenty minutes if that's alright."

"See you then." And Nick hung up, Sara putting her phone down on the counter.

"Will you be alright for about an hour while I get my things? She should sleep but if she wakes up just walk around with her, and her dummy is in the capsule on the floor, and if she gets cold, her blanket is in there too if she gets cold."

"OK." He said, slightly nervously and she smiled.

"You'll be fine. Call if she wakes up though."

"Alright." And she picked up her bag, heading out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

She was back within half an hour and when she walked back into Gil's bedroom, he was still sitting there, watching Lilly sleep.

"She alright?"

"Not a peep." He said, taking one of the bigger bags from her and sitting it on the floor.

"There's a basinet in that bag for her to sleep in." she said, pointing and he nodded, opening it up and putting it together. Sara picked up her sleeping child and carried her into the living room, Gil following her with the bassinet and placing it gently on the carpet, Lilly inside it.

They sat down together on the couch, watching Lilly sleep and Sara felt herself leaning into Gil's arms despite herself. She had left him so many times and now, she had let something big go unexplained, for a whole year. Each time a hurdle had hit their relationship they'd both accept it, but before long, it broke them apart. Sara had been over the moon when Gil had asked her to marry him, just under two years ago, but a month later, she was gone. Even when she had come back for Warrick's funeral and it looked like she was going to stay, they both knew she wouldn't.

"_Sooner or later a relationship in static withers. You get angry… you need more than the safety of knowing that you're not alone."_ His words echoed through her head. 'It's not static though any more.' She thought, looking over at their daughter. 'She changes everything.'

"Do you still love me?" Sara asked and Gil tensed at the question. "I get it if you don't. I've taken your heart and trodden all over it more times than I can remember. I had our child without telling you and kept her hidden." And he put a finger over her lips.

"You could take my heart, throw it in a blender and I would still love you."

"How can you? After everything I did to you."

"It doesn't matter. If I knew where you were, I would have come. And I'm not blameless either. The question is, do you still love me?" and he turned her around to face him.

"I never stopped." She breathed and he laid his lips down across hers.


	7. Chapter 7

Sara lost herself in his kiss as he tangled his fingers through her hair, the two of them falling back into the couch. She put her hands on the back of his neck, drawing him closer as she felt his hands drop to her back, pulling her into his lap. At his probing tongue, Sara opened her mouth, lying back against the couch, pulling Gil on top of her.

"I love you Gil." She said as he pulled away for air, sitting up and pulling her back onto his knees.

"I know you do." He said, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you too."

He was just leaning in to kiss her again when Lilly's cries echoed through the room.

"She mustn't be sleeping well in a different city." Sara said, immediately pulling back and leaping off the couch, heading over to her daughter.

"Is there anything I can do?" Gil asked, standing up and Sara shook her head, feeing Lilly's forehead with the back of her hand.

"She's a bit hot. I think she's got a fever from the trip down."

"Do you want me to fill the sink so you can give her a cool bath or something?" and she nodded.

"That would be good. Might settle her down. You wouldn't happen to have any infant's paracetamol would you?"

"Not here, but I can run to the pharmacy." And she nodded, feeling Lilly's forehead again.

"Just tell the pharmacist what's wrong and he'll know what to get." She said, carrying the babe into the bathroom, putting the plug into the sink.

Twenty minutes later Gil was home with the proffered treatment as Sara dribbled water over Lilly's stomach.

"Is she alright?" he asked, handing her the medicine.

"Yeah, she's cooled down a bit. I'll give her some of this though and with luck she'll drop back off to sleep." She said, smiling slightly at the anxiety on his face. "She'll be fine."

"She's still so small." He said, closing the toilet lid and sitting down on it.

"She was a lot smaller before, though it didn't feel like it when I was in labour." And she pulled Lilly out of the water, letting the water drain.

"Here." He said, handing her a towel and she wrapped her daughter up in it.

"Can you hold her for a minute?" and she handed her over, picking up the paracetamol and checking the bottle to make sure that it was the right one. Drawing up a dose in the syringe, and putting it in her mouth, Sara felt her heart twinge as she started crying.

"It's OK sweetheart." And she picked her up, patting her on the back.

Gil watched, his heart full of love as Sara put a fresh nappy on, a clean jumpsuit following.

"Aren't you tired too?" she asked, pacing, stifling her own yawn.

"A little. Could I bring her basinet in here?" and she nodded, starting her song. Within ten minutes, Lilly was sleeping soundly, Sara not far behind as she lay down on the bed. "Can I sleep beside you?" and she nodded, sleepily. Gil lay down next to her, wrapping his arms subconsciously around her waist, staring at the two girls, one who had come back and one who had just entered his life.

Sara's gentle snores made him smile a few minutes later and he brushed her hair from her face. The sun was peaking through the curtains and he blinked, staring at the clock where noon looked back at him. He had another four hours before work and he knew he needed sleep but he couldn't help staring at his girls. He had a family; was his last thought and he inadvertently drifted off to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

It was Lilly's cries that woke Gil at five o'clock rather than the usual blare of his alarm clock and he smiled as Sara stirred in his arms.

"I'll get her." He said but Sara sat up, shaking her head.

"She'll be hungry. No offence, but you can't do that part." And he smiled as she lifted her daughter up, putting her to her breast.

"Did you want to come into the lab?" he asked, throwing on a clean shirt and trousers. "Introduce her to everyone else?"

"I was thinking I might. I want to show her to Brass. You know how protective he was of me while I was here. He was like a father to me."

"You can hide in my office if you like and I can tell Brass to meet you there – spare you from most of the stares for a while."

"Alright. I'll follow in a couple of hours though – I want to avoid the turn over." And he nodded, kissing her passionately as he picked up his bag.

"Will you call me when you arrive?"

"I promise." She smiled, watching him reluctantly move away. "As soon as I put her down for sleep in the capsule, we'll come."

Gil smiled, looking at the two of them and he walked out the apartment, totally unable to keep the smile of his face. "I love her. God, I love her." He said to himself as he drove to work.


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm here." Sara said, speaking into her phone as she reached Gil's office a few hours later.

"Oh good. We're almost done here; I just had a B and E."

"We're waiting in your office." And she hung up the phone, turning to face her daughter. "Hello sweetheart." She said, picking her up, seeing Lilly smile. "You don't want to sleep, do you? Ah, well, let's see how you go being awake for a few more hours." And she turned around as someone opened the door.

"Hey." Catherine said walking inside. "I could hear you talking to her."

"No case?"

"It's a quiet night. Nick and Riley are on a homicide, but it's the only one for the night… so far." She said, tapping the wooden desk. "How'd it go with telling Gil about her?"

"He was shocked at first, but I don't know, he just accepted her."

"He wasn't mad that you never told him? That you left him?"

"He said he was just glad I came back."

"Gil still loves you, you know."

"Yeah – he told me as much." And she smiled, bouncing Lilly on her knee.

"So, what did you do in San Francisco? While you were waiting for this little one to come?" Catherine asked, picking Lilly up off Sara's lap.

"I went back to school; studying medicine. With the science degree already behind me, it'll only take me another year before I can call myself an MD."

"Wow. How do you manage that with this little one?"

"Well, she was born just as the summer break began and I've been studying by correspondence any way so I can work."

"Where have you been working?"

"When I moved, I was looking and when I found out about Lilly here, even more so. So, when my OBGYN I was seeing had a sign in the window, asking for a receptionist, I took it. She's been really good to me."

"It looks like you really made a life for yourself." And she smiled, leaning back in the chair.

"What are you going to do now?" Catherine asked as Sara pulled a bottle out of her bag and threw a towel over her shoulder.

"I don't know yet." She said, softly taking her daughter back and giving her the bottle.

"Well, I can tell you that now you've told Gil about this little one, he's not going to let you go so easily."

"I hope he doesn't." she said with a slight smile and Catherine grinned at the younger woman. They sat in silence for a few minutes but the serenity was broken by a soft tap on the door.

"Sara!" Brass said seeing her sitting with her back to the door, Grissom following him into the room with a smile.

"Hey Jim." She said, turning her head with a smile. "Did you tell him?" she asked, addressing Gil who shook his head.

"Tell me what?" Brass said, looking from Gil to Sara to Catherine. She stood up and turned around, Lilly in her arms. "Who…"

"Jim, this is Lilly – my daughter." She smiled, uttering the famous words. "Gil's daughter." And his head shot from the baby to Grissom who was grinning.

"What?" he said in shock, looking back to Sara and her little girl.

"She's four months old now. I had her at the end of June." And she sat back down, the bottle a little difficult to manage while she was standing. Brass and Grissom walked around so they could all sit, facing each other.

"When you came back for Warrick's funeral?" and she nodded, biting her lip slightly.

"Congratulations Doll." He said after a few minutes, getting up and kissing her on the cheek. "She's beautiful."

"Thank you." She smiled in some what relief, putting the bottle down.

"When did everyone else find out?" he asked, looking over at Catherine.

"Yesterday – when I arrived from San Francisco." She said, putting Lilly to her shoulder and patting her back.

"Wow." He said, staring at them both. "I don't believe it."

"Neither did Nick or I. Or Gil, I expect." Catherine said, nudging Gil in the shoulder, just as her phone rang.

"Yeah, be there in twenty." And she hung up. "Sorry Gil, but there's a body at the Palermo for us. Vega's already there."

"I didn't get a call." Brass said frowning and Gil smiled.

"I told the under-sheriff you had personal business for the next few hours. Told him I did too for that matter."

"Vega said that the body's on the roof – a lot of insect activity." She said apologetically.

"Jim and I can talk, can't we." She said, and he nodded, not taking his eyes off the baby. "See you later." And they left the room, Grissom with pain.

"She's really your baby?" Jim asked as Sara got up, moving to sit on the couch beside him.

"Yeah, she's really mine." She said, bringing her off her shoulder and handing Lilly to Brass. He took her with much more confidence than Gil had, and Sara had to remind herself that Brass had a daughter himself.

"She looks just like you." He said, cradling Lilly in his arms. "So there was another reason you kept Gil in pain."

"He was really that bad while I was gone?"

"Sara today is the happiest I have seen him in a year."

"What was he like while I was gone?"

"He was in a foul mood all the time. He was actually snapping at people. Now though, he's smiling. Please tell me that you're staying for a while."

"I came for Nick's wedding, so I'm here at least a month." And Brass nodded his approval.


	10. Chapter 10

Brass left after an hour or so when Vega called and Sara took Lilly back, smiling as she yawned.

"Are you tired sweetheart?" she said softly, standing up and pacing the room, rocking her child in her arms. "Come on honey, try and get some sleep for mommy." And she started humming, walking around the desk. Sara smiled slightly as she saw the growing congregation of people outside Gil's office, their eyes popping out of their heads at the sight of the elusive Sara and her mystery baby. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Nick chivvy them away before coming into the room, Riley and Greg behind him.

"Hey." He whispered, seeing that she was trying to get Lilly to sleep. "Sara, this is Riley."

"You're the new CSI?" she breathed and the blonde nodded. "How are you fitting in?"

"They're all treating me right."

"Is this her?" Greg asked smiling and Sara nodded, rubbing her back.

"Greg, meet Lilly."

"You're right Nick, she looks just like Sara." He said and Sara smiled again, seeing that Lilly was asleep.

"Congratulations." Riley said, not sure where she stood.

"Thank you." She said, sitting down wearily.

"You look exhausted." Nick said, looking her up and down. "Worse than the days when you used to pull straight triple shifts."

"You were some sort of machine?" Riley asked and Greg nodded.

"Sara here would stay up for days until she had solved her case. I think four days was your record?" he said and she blushed slightly, nodding.

"Looks like I have big shoes to fill." She said, looking at Sara with a little more respect.

"Are you staying here till Nick's wedding?" Greg asked and she nodded, cupping the back of Lilly's head. "Cool. I'd offer you a place to stay, but I take it you're staying with Grissom?"

"Yeah. I figured I'd give him a chance to get to know his daughter properly."

"Grissom's her father?" Riley asked, a little shocked but Nick spared her answering.

"Greg and I will explain later. It's a long story and Sara looks like she's going to fall asleep any minute already."

"Thanks." She said, her head falling back against the back of the couch, just as Grissom came back into the office.

"Hey, Gil, congratulations!" the three of them said came in, momentarily forgetting the sleeping baby. Lilly woke up with a start and cried out, the four of them turning around, guilt sketched all over their face. "Sorry." Riley said in a whisper as the baby cried. "You know what, we'll go. You two can explain everything to me." And the three of them left the office.

"Come on sweetheart." Sara said standing up and walking over to Gil.

"Do you want me to take her?" he asked, and she handed Lilly over to him.

"Did you close your case?" Sara asked, sitting down again as Gil walked the floor.

"No, but Catherine told me that if I could give her the entomological time line, she'd cover the rest for me." He smiled as Lilly's cries began to soften.

"She might need her nappy changed." She said as the baby fidgeted and she pulled a clean nappy and a towel out of her bag, laying it across Gil's desk.

"Can you teach me?" he asked as she reached for her and surprised, Sara nodded.

"Sure. You need to lay her down gently and undo her jumpsuit. Take her feet out of the bottoms and it just gets pushed to the side."

"Like this?" he asked, doing as she said.

"Right – and now you take the dirty diaper off and wrap it up."

"Wrap it up in what?" he asked, holding it in one hand, tickling Lilly's tummy with the other. Mutely she took it off him and showed him how to roll it up and re-seal the tabs so that it looked like a ball.

"Like this." She said, throwing it into the bin with a smile. "Now you use the wipes and put the new nappy on." Laughing as he tried and failed to decipher front from back. "Watch." And Gil stepped aside to let her do it.

"How did you learn to do all this?" he asked, marvelling at how quickly she completed the task.

"I had to. But while I was in hospital, the nurses showed me how to do a lot of these things. How to change her, how to feed and bath her. Everything."

"You're going to have to teach me." He said, as Sara pulled Lilly's jumpsuit back into place.

"You'll learn. When you have to do something, everything falls into place." And he handed Lilly back to him. She started to cry again, looking at Sara and Gil was sure that if she had the muscle strength, she would be reaching for her.

"I think she wants her mom." And Sara sighed, taking her back.

"She will get used to you. She's probably just still tired." And he nodded, disheartened.

"Can I take you back to my apartment and you can put her to sleep?" he asked and she yawned, nodding.

"Please do." And he picked up the empty capsule following Sara as she walked out to her car. Heads turned as they walked out to the car, whispers following them.

"Was that Sara?"

"Is she back?"

"Does she have a kid?"

"I wonder if it's Grissom's." and Sara hid her face as well as she could with Lilly in her arms.

"Don't listen to them." He said, putting an arm around her waist as they reached the parking lot.

"I can't help it. My little disappearing acts have everyone clueless about what to think."

"I don't care, so they shouldn't. Come on. I'll drive" and he opened the back door, securing the car seat so that Sara could put Lilly inside.


	11. Chapter 11

By the week of Nick and Mandy's wedding, Gil once again woke up to the cries of his daughter and his heart swelled with joy. Sara stirred beside him and muttered in her sleep.

"I can get her, you go back to sleep." He said, getting up out of bed and picking a now five month old Lilly out of her basinet.

"No, I got it." She said, sitting up as well and stretching her arms above her head.

"I think I can manage it now." He said with a smile. Sara had gotten up at every cry despite the fact that Gil had gotten very good at taking care of their daughter.

"I didn't have any milk left in the fridge for her. I've got to breast feed again." And he nodded, handing her over walking into the kitchen to make them some coffee.

"What time is it?" Sara asked as he came back into the room a few moments later.

"Almost 6 am." He said, putting the mug on her bedside table, accidentally knocking some papers off. "Oh, I'm sorry." And he picked them up, glancing at the top sheet. "Are you still planning to go back to San Francisco?" and she glanced over at the bus ticket in his hand.

"I don't know. I want you in Lilly's life… and I want to be part of yours."

"So stay here with me. Move back home here. Permanently." And she turned her face away. "Sara, honey?"

"I never really wanted to come back to Vegas. To all this madness and death."

"Then come back to me. To your friends here, not to the town. It's just a block of buildings in the desert. Stay for the people."

"Gil, I…"

"Please."

"Can you give me a while?" and he sighed in defeat, putting the ticket back down on the bedside table and moving to leave the room.

"Gil wait." And he turned around, seeing the unshed tears sparkling in her eyes. She patted the bed beside her, unable to get up because of Lilly and he sat down, cupping her face in his hand.

"I do love you – I really do and I would never deny you Lilly."

"Then why won't you stay?"

"I never said I wouldn't."

"Then…"

"I made a life for myself in San Francisco that year I was gone. It'll take me time to move."

"You'll stay?" and Sara nodded, accepting his kiss, but pulling away quickly so as not to crush the now five month old baby between them.

"After Nick's wedding, maybe the three of us can go and pack up my apartment. Bring the rest of Lilly's things here." And he smiled, holding her close, the three of them sitting there, a family.


	12. Chapter 12

"So are you ready to get married?" Catherine asked Nick as the CSI's, Brass, Sara and Lilly sat around the table in Grissom's apartment, sharing in Nick's last night of freedom with some well chosen bottles of beer.

"I've been ready for months. It's Mandy who wants the big white wedding, which is why it's taking so long."

"Well, good luck tomorrow any way." Brass said, standing up. "I'll see you in the morning."

"You know, I should get going too." Riley said, following Brass's lead. "Greg – make sure he gets down the isle tomorrow in a straight line. My brother made a mess of it when he tried."

"Will do." He saluted.

"See you tomorrow Nick!" and Brass led Riley out to her car.

"It's the old crew." Nick said, leaning back in his chair, looking at the faces around him. "I wish Warrick could have been here too though."

"We all do." Sara said sadly, holding Lilly to her shoulder and patting her back.

"He would be dragging you to a strip club at about this time if he were here." Greg said and they laughed softly.

"Yeah, and I'd turn up tomorrow with a splitting headache and lipstick marks all over me." Nick said, finishing off his beer.

"Do you want another?" Grissom asked and Nick nodded, Greg and Catherine too as he glanced around the table.

"You're not having another?" Greg asked as Sara shook her head.

"Still breast feeding. You're going to have to get used to it. When Mandy first met Lilly here, she said she want's as many kids as she can have – she'll practically give up the booze."

"So, Sara, tell us," Catherine said about half an hour later. "Are you staying?"

"Yeah – we all know you had a return ticket. Are you going to use it?" Nick asked and Sara closed her eyes, feeling Gil sit down beside her and rest his hand on her thigh. Opening her eyes she could see her three closest friends watching her, waiting for an answer and she smiled.

"Gil and I are going to San Francisco." And there was a sharp intake of breath at the thought that Grissom would be leaving too. "Hey – give me a minute. We're going back to pack up my apartment. I'm here to stay. Home." And Gil pulled her into his shoulder.

"Oh, thank God. I thought you might leave again!" Catherine said, pulling her out of her boss's arms and into hers.

"Hey, watch out for Lilly!" she cried, jumping back as the three of them all reached out for her. "I'm going to put her down to sleep in the other room if you're all going to fight over me like a toy." And she walked out of the room.

"You convinced her to stay?" Greg asked and Gil nodded.

"She's not coming back to work at the lab though. She's had enough of death."

"Well, I can't say that I blame her." Catherine said, taking another swig from her beer. "You really got to love this job to keep going. Once the love goes, you can't keep doing it." And silence fell over the table. Sara's voice echoed from the bedroom where she was singing Lilly to sleep and no-one resumed the conversation, preferring to listen to the melody.

"_Sleep now, my baby  
>Be still, love, don't cry<br>Sleep like you're rocked by a stream  
>Sleep and remember<em>

_My lullaby  
>And I'll be with you when you dream<br>I'll be with you when you dream"_

"I didn't know she could sing so well." Nick said as the song ended and they heard Sara moving around in the room.

"She sings that song every time she puts Lilly down to sleep." Grissom said "She won't sleep without it."

"Well, she has a really good voice on her." He said as Sara came back into the room.

"They were all marvelling how you could sing."

"Just the one song." She blushed, sipping her water.

"Shame. Otherwise I would have asked you to sing tomorrow." Nick said, downing the rest of his beer, looking around at his companions. "I had better go get some sleep, otherwise Mandy will not be happy tomorrow." And Greg took the hint, standing up and pulling out his cell to call a cab.

"Good luck tomorrow. We'll see you in the crowd." Sara said as the two men left, with as smile and a wave.

"How's Lindsay?" Grissom asked as Sara collected empty beer bottles, throwing them in the trash.

"Turns seventeen next month."

"Wow. That always reminds me how long we've been friends."

"Gil and I met the week I found out I was pregnant – the same week I also started working at CSI."

"He told me." Sara said smiling, sitting back down.

"Yeah. A busy week for me." She smiled, stifling a yawn. "You know, I should get going too. No one wants bags under their eyes when they're going to a wedding." And she stood up, stretching. "That and I've got to get home to Lindsay before she decides to sneak out with her friends." And they laughed. "Hey, you wait – this will be you in a few short years." And she grabbed her bag, with a smile, walking out the door.

"Do you think she's right?" Grissom asked as they walked back into their room and he bent over Lilly's sleeping form.

"It's a long hard road, being a parent. I know and I've only been at it five months." Sara said, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Come on, let's get some sleep. It'll be a long day tomorrow." He said leading her over to their bed and she smiled lazily, sitting down. Sara pulled him into a chaste kiss and he lay down beside her. "Here's to hoping she sleeps at least six hours again." She said and Gil laughed as they let themselves be kidnapped by sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

The next afternoon saw Catherine, Brass, Gil and Sara all sitting together in one of the front rows of the church, watching a nervous Nick bounce on the balls of his feet, Greg trying to calm him down beside. Sara was softly humming Lilly's lullaby, trying to get her to sleep before the ceremony started so that she didn't start crying half way through.

"You look beautiful." Gil whispered in her ear as she rocked their daughter in her arms, and a slight blush rose in her cheeks.

"They're starting any minutes – do you think you could just refrain from trying to chat me up till after? And besides – you already caught me." She said, a snicker from her other side and she turned to see Catherine snorting, her noises subsiding as music started to play.

"Congratulations Nick. And the new Mrs Stokes." Brass said as they walked up towards the newly weds outside the church.

"Thankyou." Mandy said beaming broadly before one of her bridesmaids dragged her away.

"Mandy is lucky to have you Nick." Sara said, giving him a one armed hug as Riley walked over with Dr Robbins and his wife.

"Congratulations young Nicholas." Mrs Robbins said smiling, adjusting the rose in his lapel.

"Yes, we can only hope you're as happy as we are I marriage." Doc Robbins said smiling.

"Yeah, you're lucky to have at least one good example, rather than our broken marriages." Catherine said, nodding at Brass and the group smiled.

"Come on; let me take a photo of you all." Mrs Robbins said, pulling out her camera and they fell into place, making sure that Lilly was in centre view.

"I got to go." Nick said, not able to wipe the smile from his face, and they watched as he ran over to Mandy, surprising her with a kiss.

"It looks like Nick really loves her." Grissom said his arm around Sara's waist.

"As it should be." Greg concurred, catching Nick's eye as he signalled he was needed for photos as his groomsman again.

Do you guys need a lift to the reception?" Sara asked and while the Robbins politely declined, Brass and Catherine eagerly accepted. They were at the hotel within ten minutes and Lilly woke up as the car stopped.

"Hey there sweetheart." Sara said, pulling her out of the car seat. "You were very good, sleeping throughout the whole wedding." And Gil kissed the back of her neck, Catherine and Brass having long gone inside.

"You were a very good girl. Daddy thought so too." He said, pulling the pram out of the boot so that she could sleep if needed during the long night of celebrations. "I love, you, you know that."

"Yeah, I do." She smiled, seeing Lilly making small o's with her mouth.

"Do you ever want to get married?" Gil asked as he took Lilly so Sara could straighten her dress.

"What?"

"Do you want to get married?" he asked again, leading her over to a bench just outside the hotel.

"I did." She said with a slight smile. "I wanted to when you asked me before I left the first time."

"Do you still want to get married?" and she leaned into his arms.

"Why the questions? Just because we're at a wedding, you don't have to feel pressured."

"I know, but it's still something I'd like to know."

"Can we talk about this back home?" she asked softly and he nodded, realising that she was not dismissing him, but inviting him to talk later. "I do love you though." And she stood up, holding her hand out to him and smiling.

"Come on. This is Nick and Mandy's day." And they walked inside.


	14. Chapter 14

They never talked that night, preferring sleep after the long day and it wasn't for another week that Gil broached the subject. Catherine and Lindsay had offered to looks after Lilly for a couple of days while the two of them headed back to San Francisco to pack up Sara's flat and between packing boxes and lunch, he finally dared.

"Do you remember what I asked you before the reception?"

"If I wanted to get married?" and Gil nodded, sitting down on the couch beside her.

"Have you thought about it?"

"Kind of. I want Lilly to have a family – with both of us."

"Would you want to get married? If I asked you again?"

"Are you asking me?" she said, freezing in the act of putting shoes in a box.

"I love you Sara – I want to marry you." And she nodded instantly, throwing her arms around his neck.

She kissed him passionately and his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer. "I love you so much." She said falling back down against him.

"I brought this with me, hoping that you'd say yes again." And he fished a black box out of his pocket, handing it to her. She opened it and saw the antique silver diamond ring on the satin pillow.

"You don't have to give me a ring." She said, staring at it as Gil pulled it out of the box.

"I want to." And he put it onto her finger, holding her hand against his heart. "It was my mothers. After my father died, she told me if I ever met someone I loved enough, and I should give this to them, just like my father did. I want to give it to you."

"Are you sure? This is something from your family's history."

"Our family." He said, kissing her again, packing all forgotten.

When their lips parted she laughed again and at his questioning look, she smiled, "Thank God you want this now too. You have me so restless at the moment." He smiled at her and walked her backwards toward the bedroom kissing her forehead, her cheeks, her lips, her nose, her neck, anywhere he could reach with his mouth, deeply appreciating the soft flesh under his hands. She tripped over her feet in front of him and so he brought his hands from her hips up just under her ribcage and lifted her off the ground. She gasped into his mouth then wrapped her legs tightly around his hips and her arms twined around his neck.

He missed the turn into her bedroom and wound up pressing her against the wall. He was about to apologize for his mistake when she moaned and bucked her hips into his, using the wall for leverage as her head fell back against it. Raising her arms above her head, he took the hint to pull off her house dress, letting it fall and attacked her collar bone, dropping the material to the floor. Sara brushed his cock, straining through his sweats and he let out a growl that he hardly recognized as his own voice.

Sara was turned on. There was a perfectly good wall behind her, but Gil turned them, and this time they made it through the doorway and into the bedroom. She gasped as he toppled her onto her comforter, the cool fabric underneath her made her gasp at the contradiction. Gil's body was hard against her softness, and his big body sank them deeper down into the bed. She felt his hands on her again, sliding along the curves and valleys of her body, and she trembled under his fingertips.

She yanked his t-shirt up over his head, not wasting any time before she reached for his sweats. In a matter of seconds he was naked beneath her and reaching for her bra clasp, kissing the underside of her breasts, seeing her tremble. He flipped them over and climbed off the bed, pulling her plain cotton underpants off and letting them drop to the ground.

She felt him move his body between her thighs, and she arched up to meet him, desperate for the fullness of him. His eyes were dark and hot and she met his gaze head on, caught in the pleasure, crazy for him, and then he kissed her and snaked his tongue into her mouth as he slid into her, deep and perfect, and she gasped and clutched at him as the shock of him went everywhere.

She felt her blood thickening as he pulled back and then thrust into her again even deeper this time. She felt scattered with the tension pressing against every nerve. She moaned low in her throat as he plunged over and over; she bent her body and bucked against him, matching his rhythm stroke for stroke. He whispered while she screamed on the inside, telling her how beautiful she was and how she had made all his dreams come true. Her internal screams bubbled from her mouth in a heated whisper, echoing how good it felt and how much she needed him. Then everything erupted and she scattered so desperately she wondered she could ever be put back together again.

Gil was spent. With his last ounce of strength he slipped his arms tightly between Sara and the bed and rolled so that she lay sprawled on top of his body. They were both panting and their bodies were glued together with heat and sweat and satisfaction. "I love you so much." Sara said softly, not having the energy to speak any louder.

"Me too." He said and they dozed in each other's arms.


	15. Chapter 15

Grissom woke up a little after dark and smiled, seeing Sara sleeping soundly, the sheet draped across her naked body. He got up, pulling his boxers and sweats back on and walked back into the lounge, resuming the job they had abandoned. He had finished the living room and kitchen and was walking into Lilly's room when he heard Sara stir, rousing just before dawn.

"Rise and shine sleepy head." He said, walking back in and sitting on the corner of the mattress.

"How long was I asleep?"

"Hours. It's morning."

"God, I didn't know I slept that long."

"I guess I wore you out then." He smiled, kissing her as she sat up.

"I finished packing the lounge and kitchen. Do you want to help me with Lilly's room or finish your one here?" he asked once Sara had properly woken up and thrown the old dress back on.

"If I finish here, while you do Lilly's, we can be on the road by three. I want to go home straight away."

"You miss her?"

"I've never been away from Lilly for more than a couple of hours before and while I've loved the time alone with you, I want her back in my arms." And he smiled, pulling her to her feet.

"Do you want to do her room then? Feel a little closer to her?" and she smiled, patting his cheek.

"Thank you for the offer, but I need to decide what to take back from here. Most of the things I have are ruined with baby spit up." And he nodded, getting up and kissing the top of her head.

"Alright. We can get some breakfast a little later." And he walked back into Lilly's room.

Sara slid off the bed to the floor, pulling a flat box out from under the bed, opening it up and staring at the contents. There were a bunch of photos inside, something that she had never shared with anyone else. She had carried them each time she moved, ever since she was a little girl and her mother had killed her father. From foster homes to her lonely apartments, she kept that box. Each time she left, she added another picture, not of the place she lived but of the people she had met there. Getting up and crossing to her beauro, she pulled a photo of her boss, Michelle at the medical clinic and all the nurses who worked there with her, the group of about six women all cooing over Lilly.

"You are by far the best person I have ever met on my many moves." She said to herself, running a finger over Lilly in the picture. With a slight smile, she closed the lid of the box, turning to the rest of the room.

By noon, everything was packed and the twenty or so boxes were piled in the back of Gil and Sara's SUVs.

"What about the furniture?" he said as they looked around the bare apartment.

"If it's alright with you, I'd rather get new stuff back in Vegas. All of these I got from kind strangers at the clinic when they saw I was working for pittance with a baby on the way."

"Of course." He smiled, taking her hand in his and bringing it to his lips. She smiled as he kissed the diamond ring he had placed on her finger.

"Do you want a quick bite to eat before we leave?"

'We can go downstairs to the café. I have to turn the keys into the super any way before I leave." And picking up the last couple of bags, they walked down the stairs.


	16. Chapter 16

They were on the road before one and no sooner had they gotten out of the city, Sara heard her phone ring.

"Sidle." She said, putting it on speaker as she drove down the I-5.

"Hey." Came Catherine's voice. "How's the move going?"

"We're on the road now. How's Lilly?"

"She's alright. I can't get her down to sleep though. I was hoping I could put the phone down beside her and you could sing that magic song for her."

"Sure. Put it on speaker so she can hear." She said smiling at the thought of Catherine and Lindsay trying everything they could to get her daughter to sleep.

"OK, we're ready to go." And Sara blushed slightly, knowing that Catherine at least would be listening to the song.

"_Hush now, my darling  
>Be still love, don't cry<br>Sleep like you're rocked by a stream  
>Sleep and remember<br>My lullaby  
>And I'll be with you when you dream<em>

_Drift on a river  
>That flows through my arms<br>Drift as I'm singing to you  
>I see you smiling<br>So peaceful and calm  
>And holding you, I'm smiling, too<br>Here in my arms  
>Safe from all harm<br>Holding you, I'm smiling, too_

_Sleep now, my baby  
>Be still, love, don't cry<br>Sleep like you're rocked by a stream  
>Sleep and remember<em>

_My Lullaby  
>And I'll be with you when you dream<br>I'll be with you when you dream"_

"How do you do that?" Catherine asked, picking up the phone and taking it off speaker, walking out of the room.

"Do what?"

"Get her to sleep with just one song?"

"I don't know. One of the nurses I worked with here said it was because I sung it when I was pregnant to get her to stop kicking me. She says that Lilly now associates it with rest."

"Well, use it while you can. Thanks for the help."

"Aren't you the timeless mother I should be asking for help?"

"Only a mother truly knows her own child." she said knowingly. "How far are you away from here?"

"About three hours. I think Gil's a bit over an hour ahead of me though. I got a flat tyre and had to pull over. Tell Lilly if she wakes up before I get there that I'm coming soon?" and Catherine smiled into the receiver.

"Course. Thanks for the song. We all enjoyed it. Drive safe!" and she hung up, not giving Sara time to contemplate her words.


	17. Chapter 17

Catherine hung up the phone, turning to face Riley across her kitchen table.

"So, we have three hours – do you want to know the story behind Sara and Grissom?"

"Please." Riley said, nursing her coffee in her hands. "Thanks for offering to explain too. The version I got from Greg and Nick led me to believe they didn't know much at all."

"Well, no one really does." The older woman said, setting the baby monitor down beside the phone. "So where to begin…"

"Let's start with how they came to start dating. Nick said you knew that tale but he didn't."

"Well, Sara was attacked by a patient in the institute for the criminally insane. He nearly cut her throat. Grissom was there with her. He told me later that being there stirred up some buried bones for her. I don't know what they were though. No one does apart from the two of them. Any way, Gil told me that a week after that, they started dating."

"Wow. So how long does that make it?"

"Four years, on and off with the disappearing acts Sara kept taking."

"Yeah, I heard about what happened to her, with Davis. Nick and Greg told me."

"Yeah, well, that's when we all found out about them dating. Gil professed love over her miniature, completely forgetting that we were all there. She left not long after that, I think she was traumatized and needed space."

"They were living together, weren't they?"

"Yeah and each time she came back, they just picked up where they left off." And she took a swig of her coffee.

"What's Sara like?"

"What do you mean?" Catherine asked.

"Well, all you guys talk about her but I've only met her once or twice. What she really like?" Riley wanted to know.

"She's very passionate – doesn't do anything half mast."

"What about as a CSI? Greg told me that she would stay awake till her case was closed."

"She was amazing. She could always find the links between pieces of evidence and she did really well in interrogation. It got to the point where Brass would actually ask her to come in."

"She sounds like a really amazing woman." Riley commented, just as the bay monitor began to cry. "She awake?"

"An hour and a half – that's not bad." Catherine said, getting up to retrieve the girl.

"Hey there Lilly." She said sitting back down at the table with the crying baby. "Could you get a bottle from the fridge for me?" and Riley nodded, getting up to retrieve it.  
>"She's a beautiful little girl." She said as she handed over the bottle.<p>

"She is. She looks just like Sara." Catherine agreed, putting the bottle in the infant's mouth, her cries halting immediately. "I never saw Sara as a mother though."

"You didn't?"

"She's always been very black and white and she used to love the independence she had. She led a very structured life."

"Well, even I know that goes out the window when kids are involved." Riley said.

"Well, even I have to admit, Sara seems to have taken quite well to motherhood. A change for the better."


	18. Chapter 18

Gil went straight to his apartment, unpacking the boxes when he got back to Vegas, his cell against his ear, dialling the number for Sara.

"Hey honey." He said, picking up a box marked kitchen and putting it on the bench.

"Hey. You're home, are you?"

"Yeah. I've just finished unloading the boxes. I figured you'd want to pick Lilly up when you get here." And she smiled, seeing the familiar turn off to the I-95.

"You got that right. I'm about half an hour away."

"I love you honey." He said.

"I love you too. I'll be home as soon as I can – with Lilly."

"See you soon." And he hung up the phone.

Sara fidgeted in her seat as she saw the approaching lights of Vegas, ever present, even in the day light.

"Mommy's coming sweetheart." She said to herself, as though her voice could be carried on the wind to her daughter.

Fifteen minutes later she was knocking on Catherine's door, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"Hey Aunty Sara." Lindsay said opening the door to let her inside.

"Hey. School finished?" and she nodded. "Where's your mom?"

"In the kitchen. Lilly's in the lounge." She smiled, knowing which direction she would take.

"Hey sweetheart." Sara said, walking over to where Lilly was lying on the play mat – her mobile teasing her above. "Mommy missed you." And she picked her up, the baby laughing as she saw her mother.

"How did the packing go?" Catherine said, coming into the living room, seeing Sara standing there.

"Gil's already home with half the boxes. The other half are in the trunk of my car. We're you OK with Lilly?"

"She was fine – just that little thing we had getting her to sleep, but other wise we were fine."

"I really should record that so when ever someone else puts her to sleep they can do it quickly."

"Well, we all had a good time any way." She said as Sara bounced her daughter on her hip.

"What's this?" Catherine asked, catching a glimpse of Sara's hand as she ran it along Lilly's back.

"What's what?" she replied, her eyes still too focused on her daughter.

"This." And she grabbed Sara's hand, looking at the ring. She smiled, sitting down on the couch.

"Gil asked me to marry him." She said smiling still more broadly.

"Congratulations!" she cried and Lindsay came running.

"What's going on?" the young girl asked looking from one to the other.

"Sara and Gil are getting married!"

"Congrats Aunty Sara." Lindsay said, hugging her, looking at the ring on her finger. "Seems its wedding season."

"Yeah. We're going to be a whole family soon." She said wistfully, cradling Lilly in her arms.

"How did he ask you?" Catherine asked, sending Lindsay away to do her homework.

"The first or second time?"

"He asked twice?" and Sara nodded.

"Before I left Vegas the first time, he asked me to marry him."

"When?"

"Do you remember the case with Paul Cyden – the guy with all the carp?"

"How could I forget – that kid had breasts bigger than me."

"Well, Gil and I were talking in his bee hive sanctuary during the case and a one of the bees stung me. Any way, he was scraping the stinger out and he voiced that we should get married."

"Did you say no? Is that why you left?" but Sara shook her head. "You said yes and still ran? Why?"

"To this day I have no idea. I don't even remember what was in the letter I wrote Gil."

"You left him in a letter?"

"I was a mess – a complete utter mess."

"Well, what about this time? How did he ask you to marry you?"

"He asked me just before Nick and Mandy's reception if I still wanted to get married, and then while we were packing, he asked me."

"Well, I can see that you accepted again." She smiled, pulling Sara's hand for a closer examination of her ring. "Where did he find this?"

"He said it was his mothers."

"It's beautiful, but you have something much more precious in your arms." And Sara smiled.

"She is the most wonderful thing he ever could have given me… and I wouldn't swap her for the world."

Sara left twenty minutes later and was home in under five minutes to find most of the boxes unpacked, but Gil no where to be seen. She walked around the apartment, looking from room to room, smiling when she saw that in the hour and a half advance he had on her, Grissom had unloaded all the boxes and gotten rid of the old mattress in his spare room. The boxes marked 'Lilly' that he had taken were piled against the wall and there was a note taped to the door and she smiled broadly.

_Dear Sara and Lilly,_

_ I had finished unpacking my car and you weren't here so I thought I'd go and get some furniture for little Lilly. I hope I'm back before you, but if not, I've already unpacked the kitchen and lounge boxes I had._

_ I love you both,_

_ Gil._

"Well, why don't we wait till daddy gets home before we unpack mommy's car? Hey? I'll bet your hungry." And she put her daughter to her breast to feed, just as she heard Gil walk through the door.

"Hey. I thought you were talking to Catherine?" he said, walking over to her and kissing her, repeating the action on Lilly's forehead.

"We were, but it was nearly time to feed her so I thought I'd do it here."

"I bought some stuff for her room. Do you want me to set it up before she goes to sleep or should we just use the bassinet till it's finished?"

"We'll be an hour or so if you think you can put it together in that time."

"OK then. It'll be a surprise." And he kissed her again, dashing away.

For the allotted time, Sara watched Gil dash back and forth with varying size boxes and he flashed her winning smiled as he raced to meet his target. Just as Lilly finished and Sara had put her against her shoulder, patting her back, he came back out, resting empty card board boxes against the back of the couch.

"You actually finished it?" she said as Lilly hiccuped on her shoulder.

"Well, some of the boxes of her things aren't unpacked – they were in your car, but the rest is done." He said, walking back into the room and Sara followed him.

"Wow honey!" she said as she saw what he had done. There was a mahogany crib pushed against the wall, a change table beside it in the same wood. He had put a pink covered mattress in the crib, a soft purple blanket draped across it. A chest of draws sat under the window, and a box on the other wall which she assumed was for any toys. "Gil, this all looks amazing! Look sweetheart!"

"She deserves the best – just like you do too dear."

"Gil," she said, hitting him lightly on the arm and he caught it, kissing her finger tips.

"Do you want to put her down while I unpack the boxes from your car?"

"If you don't mind." She said, highly aware to the fact that he was doing all the work.

"No, it's alright." And he gave her a quick peck on the lips, running outside.


	19. Chapter 19

By the end of the week, it looked as though Sara had never left. The feminine touch had come home and Lilly's toys spread from one of the apartment to the other. She had spent half a day moving through the apartment baby proofing ever corner and surface, putting locks on all the cupboard doors and rubber seals on the edges of the tables and benches. Sara had removed all the insects that Gil had prised around the living room and their bedroom, deciding that his office was a better place for them, making a note to call a lock smith to install a lock on the door.

"Do you think that's everything now?" Gil said one morning as he came back from work to see his precious bugs gone.

"For now." Sara said with a smile, patting Lilly on the back as she finished feeding.

"You've been keeping busy."

"Well, with that job done, I only have this little one to amuse me."

"Have you given any thought as to what you want to do here? I know you don't want to go back to the lab, and I respect that."

"I want to finish the medical degree I started, and I'm pretty sure I can still do it by correspondence."

"What sort of medicine did you want to follow?" and she shrugged.

"I started this degree before I came back for Warrick. When I came back and I found out about Lilly, I started thinking about paediatrics or obstetrics, but nothing was written in stone."

"I help you with which ever you choose." He said and Sara smiled, shifting their daughter to her hip as she finished burping.

"Just for that, I'll do breakfast." She said, pecking him on the lips and handing Lilly to him.

"Hey there little Lilly, daddy missed you." Gil said, holding her close and tracing small circles on her back. The girl laughed, waving her arms up and down, having finally grown accustom to her father. He smiled, tickling her stomach and she laughed audibly. He sat down on the floor, laying Lilly down under her mobile and he watched amicably as she reached for the soft yellow duck.

"She loves that toy." Sara said, coming back into the lounge with two bowls of fruit, muesli and yoghurt, handing one to him.

"She likes playing with your hair more." Gil said, stroking the soft curls atop her head. "I like it when you don't straighten it. I can tangle my fingers in those soft curls of yours when we're in bed alone together."

"Hey – we'll have to watch the language soon. She's going to start talking in a couple of months."

"And her first words will be 'mama'" he said smiling and Sara leaned into his side as they watched Lilly try to roll over onto her stomach.

"She should be crawling within a month or two as well."

She picked her up, patting her back and carried Lilly into her room, starting to sing her song. Laying her down in the crib, she smiled at the infant, before walking out into her and Gil's room.

"She is sleeping. She drifts off pretty easily these days, but I'll only get an hour or so of sleep."

"Well that's an hour or so I have my beautiful fiancée to myself." He said, kissing her, pulling her down onto the bed. She lay down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder and he threaded his fingers her hair, gently massaging her scalp.

"When do you want to get married?" he asked as she lazily closed her eyes, absorbing his touches.

"I don't know. I do know I don't want a big who-ha like Nick's wedding though." She admitted, not opening her eyes.

"Well, I was thinking maybe this weekend, we could just take Lilly and go to the court house or something. Just our family." And Sara smiled, opening her eyes.

"I'd like that, but aren't you forgetting someone?"

"Who?"

"Your mother. Have you even told her about her grandchild yet?" and he tensed, caught in his own lie.

"I haven't spoken to my mother in nearly two years – since you left the first time." And she sat up, opening her eyes in shock.

"Gil, why?"

"When ever I'd write to my mother the only things I'd ever hear back were words of criticism for being the misanthrope that I was. After you left I couldn't face her and I just haven't spoken to her since."

"Email her – now. Invite her to lunch on Sunday and she can meet Lilly and I."

"Sara…"

"Don't shut her out because you think you failed her. You have me and a daughter now to offer her." And she climbed out of bed, walking into the living room and turning on the computer in Gil's study. "Talk to her." And she sat him down, resting on the arm of his chair, helping him try to explain to his mother his life of the past couple of years.

"Finished." Gil said nearly an hour later and Sara nodded, re-reading the letter, pressing send on the screen for him.

"Good Honey. Why don't you go and get some sleep. Lilly will be up in a few moments and you still have to work later." She said, kissing him and he yawned, letting her steer him back to the bedroom. "You did well."

"See you later this afternoon?"

"I'll wake you up." And she turned around, walking into Lilly's room, seeing her begin to stir.


	20. Chapter 20

On Sunday morning, Sara woke up to find Gil absent from his side of their bed. Normally she was the one always awake first, having been tuned to wake up at the slightest sound in case Lilly needed something, but today it seemed not. Slowly, she stretched her arms above her head and climbed out of the bed, yawning as she looked at the clock on the side table.

"Nine? Already?" she said a little shocked, finding her robe and pulling it over her shoulders as she walked out into the hallway. She could hear the faint splashes and babbles coming from the bathroom and opened the door to see Gil sitting in the bath tub, Lilly between his knees with every bath toy they owned.

"Good morning sleepy head." He said, seeing her standing in the door way.

"Hey. How long have you been up?"

"About a two hours. I heard Lilly. You must have got up during the night to take care of her because you were still out for the count.

"Yeah. She woke up at about four, but it's OK. What are we down to about two times a night instead of four?"

"Something like that. I gave her a bottle from the fridge and then I thought we could both do with a bath before my mother gets here." And Sara walked into the bathroom, kneeling down beside the bath to trickle water down her daughter's stomach.

"Well, I'll get her dried up while you get rid of all these toys. Hmm? How's that sweetheart?" She said, picking her up and grabbing the towel, wrapping it around her.

"OK." He agreed, watching the girls he loved, walk out of the room.

"Hey there sweetheart." Sara said as she lay her daughter down on the change table, fishing out a diaper and some clothes for the day. "Are you ready to meet your grandma today? Hmm?" she said softly, affixing the nappy and putting a pink jumpsuit on her. "Mommy gets to meet grandma today too – a new person for both of us to see."

"Would you like me to take her so you can take a shower?" Gil's voice came from behind them and Sara spun around to see him leaning against the door frame, just as she had been a few minutes earlier.

"Thanks." She said, handing Lilly over and she disappeared back into their bedroom, finding some clothes and heading for the shower.

No sooner had Gil heard the water begin to run, the doorbell rang and he put Lilly under the mobile on the floor in the living room before hurrying over to answer it.

"Hello Gilbert." His mother said as he opened the door to see her standing there, smiling.

"Mom." He said, giving her a warm embrace, leading her inside. "It's been a while."

"It certainly has been." She signed. "Was your letter just a ruse to get us to talk again or are you merely trying to irk me?" she asked, the cross face she held, speaking her tone.

"Wait here a minute mom." Gil spelt out and he walked into the living room and picked his daughter up. "It was all true." He said, looking at her so she could read his lips, but the baby on his hip validated the words more effectively that anything ever could. "Mom, this is Lilly." He said, leading her into the living room and sitting down on the couch, gesturing that she should do the same.

"Do you remember, before we stopped exchanging letter, how I spoke of a woman called Sara?" he said and she nodded, not taking her eyes off the child. "We're getting married. This is our daughter. She's just over five months old now, born on the 20th of June."

"I thought you were making all of this up to get me to think you were no longer a hermit, doomed to spend eternity on your own."

"I wouldn't lie mother. She is my daughter." And tears filled the old woman's eyes. Gil could see she was beginning to see the same characteristics that his friends had seen in Lilly – the same shape of the eyes and colour and the same light brown coloured hair she knew him to have as a young boy. "She's your granddaughter mom." And he handed her over to the ageing woman just as Sara walked back into the living room, her hair hanging loosely around her shoulders.

Gil could sense her standing behind him, his mother too distracted by the infant in her arms. Silently he put his arm behind and she took his hand walking around to sit on the couch beside him.

"Mom?" he said, stamping his feet so that she could sense the vibrations. "This is Sara, Lilly's mother and my fiancée."

"You gave her my ring?" She said thickly, a side effect of being deaf and he nodded, Sara biting her lip.

"You told me to give it to the woman who makes me happy – to the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Sara is that woman." He said and Sara blushed slightly.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Grissom." She said smiling as Lilly made circles with her lips.

"Likewise." She said, smiling more warmly as the gravity of their news sunk in and she accepted that her son had progressed much further that she had ever expected him to, just as Lilly began to cry.

"She's probably hungry again." Sara said, standing up to take her baby.

"You can stay here if you like – don't be embarrassed on my account." Mrs Grissom said and Sara nodded, sitting back down beside Gil and unbuttoning the top few buttons so she could feed her daughter. "Are either of you going to explain why I am only now finding out that I have a grand daughter?" and Gil opened his mouth.

"Let me explain honey." She said and he put an arm around her shoulders, nodding.

"Gil only found out that he had a daughter two months ago. He never knew that I was pregnant or that I had given birth till I came back for a friend's wedding."

"You lied to him?" Mrs Grissom said shocked in her husky voice, her eyes turning cold.

"I don't expect you to understand. I'd left Vegas months before, but when Warrick, a close friend of ours was murdered, I came back for his funeral. Gil and I… well, I still loved him but once everything was over I couldn't stay here – I still had too much to deal with." And she took a deep breath, looking down at Lilly who was kicking compulsively as she always did when she fed. "I found out I was pregnant when I got back to San Francisco but I just couldn't tell him – I didn't know how."

"Mom, when Sara came back to Vegas she brought Lilly with her and I got to meet her. Don't blame her for not telling me sooner; it's both our faults."

Gil kissed the top of Sara's head as his mother considered them and even without hearing the love etched in the story the two had told, she could see the mutual attraction reflected in their faces. They looked like she and her late husband had before Mr Grissom had died. She smiled at them and Sara visibly relaxed, stroking the back of Lilly's head. "When are you getting married?" and Gil laughed, Sara smiling at him.

"Well mom, we were going to ask you to be our witness and come with us down to the courthouse today."

"You didn't want a wedding?" she asked, staring incredulously at Sara.

"We're simple people – all we want is to be a family. We don't need a ceremony to become that." And Mrs Grissom smiled again. "We actually have an appointment at the courthouse in half an hour."

"You're right – we'd better get going." Gil said and Sara handed Lilly to him, re-doing her shirt, standing up.

"I'm just going to change. Mrs Grissom, would you mind finding something nice for Lilly to wear in her room?" she said and the grandmother nodded, beaming, taking her grandchild and following her son into the right room. "All ready in ten?" and there as a unanimous cry of affirmation.


	21. Chapter 21

Three hours later the new Mr and Mrs Grissom sat with their daughter and Gil's mother at a café all of them smiling broadly.

"You remind me of me and my husband when we were newly weds." She said cradled the sleeping child as Sara held Gil's arms wrapped around her. "I hope you stay as happy."

"Thank you." Sara blushed, stroking the side of her daughter's face.

"Gilbert, did you happen to buy wedding rings for the two of you?" Mrs Grissom asked looking between the two of them and the sheepishness on her son's face was her answer. "Why don't you go and buy some. I'd like to talk to Sara without you – if I may."

"Go on honey." Sara smiled, releasing his hands and he stood up, kissing the top of all three of their heads, disappearing up the street.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" she asked, speaking slowly so that she could lip read.

"I want you to know that despite being a Catholic, and disapproving of your decision to have this child out of wedlock, she is a little beauty."

"I'm sorry if…"

"And I'm pleased that you finally married Gil – a whole family." She smiled, handing Lilly back as the girl woke and reached for her mother.

"It's alright sweetheart." She cooed, patting her on the back. "You know, Mrs Grissom, I think there's something you should know."

"You can call me Dianne you know, seeing as Mrs Grissom is your name too now."

"Well, Dianne is Lilly's name too. When she was born, I knew that I could never deny her knowing her family even if I was afraid of telling Gil, so I named her Lilly Dianne Grissom." And a tear blossomed in the elderly woman's eye.

"I'm honoured." She croaked, a mixture of emotion and her voice clouding the words.

They sat together, delving into each other's histories for the next hour before Sara spied Gil walking back towards them.

"Did you get some?" his mother asked.

"The jeweller is making a set up that I can collect tomorrow." He said, taking Lilly off Sara and patting her on the back, trying to coax her to sleep.

"It'll be easier to get her to sleep back home." Sara said, standing up, her new mother-in-law following suit. Gil put Lilly down into the stroller and the group took the short walk back to the apartment at a lazy pace, just enjoying the afternoon.

Mrs Grissom left later that afternoon, just as Lilly woke and Gil kissed Sara lightly before jumping up to get her. "I need to feed her again Gil." She sighed, but he held her down on the couch, running to get his daughter.

"I'll bring her to you." He said from Lilly's room. "I'm just changing her nappy."

"All right then." She said, stretching her arms above her head, her eye catching the brown paper bag sticking out of his pocket of his jacket on the edge of the couch. She got up and pulled it out, two silver rings falling into her hand.

"I thought you were going to collect them tomorrow?" she said as Gil walked back in with their daughter.

"I didn't think my mother should be involved in every aspect of our wedding." He said simply. "Read the inside." And she looked inside at the engraving.

_My heart and soul are yours._

Words failed her and she simply kissed him, slipping the cool ring onto her finger, Gil doing the same. "Come on – this little one is hungry." And Lilly reached for her mother as he handed her over, Sara cupping her daughter's face.

"Come on sweetheart." She said, sitting down on the couch, turning on an old Gary Cooper movie as she fed her daughter again.

"Our friends are going to be a little bummed that they weren't at our wedding." Gil said, pulling her feet into his lap and massaging them through her socks.

"They'll get over it." She said as Lilly finished and she patted her on the back before sitting her back down on the floor on her play mat. She could roll over now both back and forth and sit momentarily without assistance though they had to be careful when she did so for fear she would hit her head. Lilly would hold things that were given to her and drop them, laughing when she saw the soft blocks fall and roll away.

"She's growing so fast." Gil said, now massaging her shoulders as she held the baby up right.

"I know, she was half this size when she was born." She sighed, laying her head back in his lap.

Sara twirled the wedding ring on her finger, cherishing the weight, laughing inwardly as she thought of their friends' reactions. The three of them sat there for hours on the floor, watching the old movies, interacting with their child, both Gil and Sara marvelling at all the things their daughter could do. As six o'clock drew nearer, Sara could see the weariness on the babe's face.

"I'm going to put her down for the night, would you make some dinner?"

"Course dear." He said, letting her up and she picked her up, taking her into her bedroom.


	22. Chapter 22

"How did you pull this together?" Sara asked coming back into the kitchen once Lilly was asleep. "I was only gone fifteen minutes."

"I cooked last night – this I've just reheated." He smiled, handing her a plate of her favourite curry and rice.

"Well, you know I would never deny my favourite." She smiled, taking a bite, smiling at him. They ate mostly silently, Sara grazing her foot up his leg, watching him squirm and he dropped his fork after a minute or two.

"Am I making you uncomfortable honey?" she asked, finishing her own dinner and standing up.

"No, I'm just ready for bed." He said, leaving the plate and scooping his bride into his arms. "With you."

He carried her into their room, laying her delicately on their bed and she searched for his kiss, her arms lazily resting over her head. Neither waisted any time undressing the other as they yearned to be closer to each other, wanting to feel the skin against their own. In less than a minute they were both clinging to each other, Gil poised at her entrance and Sara arched her hips, begging for him to entry.

He slid easily inside her, and both moaned, the feeling of completion washing over them as Gil held himself inside her.

"I love you honey." She panted and he kissed her forehead.

"Me too dear." He said and they began to move together, crying out as their ecstasy built. Minutes later Sara arched herself up into him and contracted her walls around his aching member, giving him the permission to explode deep inside her.

"Wow." She said as he pulled the quilt over their glistening bodies, nestling into his chest. "But next time, we should close the door so Lilly doesn't hear us." And Gil blushed slightly.

"And hers." He added, kissing the top of her head, holding her tightly against him.

"Get some sleep honey – you have to work tomorrow and I've got to go into LVU to see about transferring my studies here."

"Shame we can't have a honey moon." He yawned, running his hand up and down her back.

"Christmas is in a few weeks. We can spend some time alone then." She said, nuzzling into his chest.

"Night dear." And they drifted into unconsciousness.


	23. Chapter 23

"Well Mrs Grissom, we can transfer all your records here but you have to understand that studying here restricts the choices you make in your speciality." The faculty advisor said. "And you would have to come on campus for practical classes twice a week since you're in your fourth year – wow, I've never seen anyone complete this degree in such a short space of time."

"I already have my masters in science, majoring in physics with a minor in health science and biology."

"Well, it's just the two days a week then you'll need to come in."

"That's alright." She said, patting Lilly on the back. "My husband can watch her while I'm in classes."

"Well that's good then. You only have a year to go." The advisor said.

"What are my choices for speciality here?" she asked, pulling a bottle out of her bag to feed her daughter as she could sense she was getting fussy.

"We can't offer oncology or neurology as both are too expensive for the university to fund and we don't offer immunology or geriatrics. If you would like to study those specialities, you would have to study at UNSM (University of Nevada School of Medicine)."

"Since I had my daughter, I actually wanted to follow either OB or paediatrics."

"Well, paediatrics is full for the next school year however we have room in OB if you would like to major there?"

"I'd like that." She smiled, giving her daughter the bottle, the soft babbles that had filled the room since the beginning of the meeting dulled. "So what do I need to do?"

"There are some forms that you'll need to fill out before you leave and then the majority of your work will be done over email. My secretary can help you with that and then you can go home Mrs Grissom."

"Thank you." and as she went to stand, he stopped her.

"You can use my office to fill out the paper work – I have a meeting to get to. This way you don't have to move your daughter." He smiled, walking out of the room.

"Mrs Grissom?" a young girl said walking into the room a few minutes later with a stack of papers. "I'm Georgie. I've got the files here for you – oh isn't she cute!" she said spying her baby.

"Do you want to keep feeding her for me while I fill out this mountain?" she asked smiling and the young girl took Lilly off her lap. The baby squirmed, trying to fight her carer and Sara rolled her eyes as Georgie handed her back.

"How about you tell me what to write." She said, picking up the clip boards and a pen. "Full name…"

Two hours later, Sara put a now sleeping Lilly in her pram and headed back out into the car just as he phone rang.

"You got married without us?" came Catherine's in dignified voice.

"Hey Catherine." She smiled her ear against her shoulder as she lifted her girl into the car seat. "How are you?"

"How come you two didn't invite any of us to your wedding?"

"We didn't want anything fancy so we just went to the courthouse with Gil's mother."

"That's what he said. Why didn't you invite us?"

"I thought I just told you?" she said slightly confused, clipping her daughter's seat belt and closing the door, putting the stroller in the boot.

"Can you come into the lab?" she asked, infuriated and Sara laughed.

"Sure. We'll be there in twenty minutes." And she hung up the phone climbing into the car.

Lilly began to cry as thy drove and Sara sighed. "Come on sweetheart, you need to sleep a bit longer for mommy." She said, reaching back to stroke her leg at a set of lights. Sara started to hum softly and she heard her cries lesson slightly, knowing she needed to sing.

"_Hush now, my darling  
>Be still love, don't cry<br>Sleep like you're rocked by a stream  
>Sleep and remember<br>My lullaby  
>And I'll be with you when you dream<em>

_Drift on a river  
>That flows through my arms<br>Drift as I'm singing to you  
>I see you smiling<br>So peaceful and calm  
>And holding you, I'm smiling, too<br>Here in my arms  
>Safe from all harm<br>Holding you, I'm smiling, too_

_Sleep now, my baby  
>Be still, love, don't cry<br>Sleep like you're rocked by a stream  
>Sleep and remember<em>

_My Lullaby  
>And I'll be with you when you dream<br>I'll be with you when you dream"_

She finished her song as they reached the lab and she turned around to see her daughter was fast asleep. "Good girl sweetheart." She whispered, getting her out of the car seat and carrying her up to her husband's office. "Hey honey." She said opening his door and walking inside.

"Good afternoon my dear." He said, standing up and kissing her gently, taking Lilly off her so she could sit down. "How'd it go at LVU?"

"I'll need to actually go into the university twice a week for practical classes but the rest I can do by correspondence. I'm going to specialize in OB."

"That's wonderful dear." He said, kissing her again, sitting down beside her on the couch.

"I take it Catherine called you?" he said as Lilly snuggled into her father.

"Yeah. She want's to know why we didn't invite anyone to our wedding." She said leaning into his shoulder.

"It was just our family and we didn't want anything fancy like Nick's." he said simply. "That's all we have to tell any of them."

"Well, you can tell her – she won't understand it coming from me." Sara smiled, pulling her phone out to let Catherine know she was here. "I'm in Gil's office." And the line went dead before she could say another word; the quick heals on the polished floors telling both of them that she was running to meet them.

"Why didn't you call any of us!" she demanded bursting through the door, covering her mouth with her hands as Lilly woke up at the noise. "God! I'm sorry!" she whispered softly, as Sara took their daughter back, standing up and patting her on the back, trying to calm her cries.

"You were saying Cath?" Gil asked as Sara softly began to hum her famous song.

"Why didn't you tell anyone that you were getting married yesterday?"

"Nick and Mandy had a big wedding – we just wanted to ink what we already knew, that we love each other and wanted to become a proper family." He said, Catherine's smile never faltering.

"We didn't want a wedding Cath – we want a marriage." Sara said, turning to see her daughter was asleep again. Catherine smiled at the sentiment, looking over at the couple.

"You'll last this time." She said as Sara sat down beside her new husband, laying her daughter down in her arms.

"Last?" Gil said and the older woman nodded.

"No more disappearing acts Sara." And she smiled, resting her head on Gil's shoulder.


	24. Chapter 24

A week or so later Gil put up a Christmas tree for the first time in the living room and immediately decided that he would leave it up all year round. Sara would lay Lilly beneath the tree and she would laugh and babble as she reached for the decorations and shining lights.

"Her first Christmas." Sara sighed as she sat beside her husband on the couch. "Our first Christmas." She added, leaning into his arms as they watched Lilly sit up by herself to better reach the dangling baubles.

"You don't have class till new year, do you?" Gil asked, stroking her hair and she nodded her head.

"Why?"

"I'm taking Christmas off for the first time in eleven years. We can spend the week as a family – just us." He said and she kissed him sweetly. "Our belated honey moon."

"Well, at least one day it won't be." She smiled, standing up to pick up Lilly who was babbling, trying to get their attention.

"What do you mean?" he asked, walking into the kitchen to get the jar of baby food they were trying to start their daughter on.

"You forgot – didn't you." And Sara sighed, putting Lilly in the high chair and affixing a bib around her neck. "Your mother, Catherine, Lindsay and the guys are all coming round for Christmas day?"

"Oh right. You must have told me while I was trying to go through that entomological time line. You could have asked me to buy a hippo and I would have said yes." And Sara smiled.

"I keep forgetting never to talk to you while you're working with bugs." And Gil took the seat in front of their daughter, poised with a spoon and the jar of pureed apple.

Sara wandered into the kitchen, pulling out a saucepan and staple foods while Lilly kept her mouth firmly shut, avoiding the spoon that her dad was trying to feed her.

"I think it's another no-go tonight dear." He said, putting the jar down.

"She's got to start eating solids soon." Sara said exasperatedly, walking back around and trying herself but the babe just started screaming.

"I'll get a bottle." Gil sighed, getting out of his seat but she shook her head.

"Can't. I was going to pump some tonight for when she's with you tomorrow, but there's none left for the time being." And she lifted her out of the chair, sitting down herself.

"We should start her on formula – it would make it a lot easier." And Sara nodded wearily as Lilly began to feed.

"Why don't you buy some tomorrow when you do the groceries and we'll test her out on it, although she usually won't take a bottle from me – so you'll get to feed her."

"My pleasure." Gil said kissing the top of their foreheads and wandering back into the kitchen to resume making dinner for them.

"This is getting hard, isn't it?" Gil asked as he looked over the counter, chopping carrots as Sara continued to feed Lilly.

"What is?" she asked, raising her head to look at her husband.

"Trying to juggle work, school for you, and Lilly." He said with a sigh. "Not that I would change anything though." And Sara gave him a faint smile.

"Gil, are you unhappy that I've brought Lilly into your world and disrupted your life?" and the tell-tale sound of the knife dropping filled the room. Gil walked back around to the table and knelt down in front of them, seeing the beginnings of tears in Sara's eyes.

"Never doubt that I am thrilled to have you back. I love you with all my heart and I love Lilly too, and I wouldn't have a thing changed. I don't resent the fact that my life is more fluid now instead of the tedious rigidity that I was used to, I love it. I am merely acknowledging that it is an adjustment." And Sara put a hand on the side of his face, running her thumb over his cheek.

"I'm sorry I'm accusing you of all this. I guess I'm just a bit hormonal." She said, Lilly pulling away and Gil picked her up.

"Come on – why don't we get Lilly to sleep and go out for dinner." He said and she smiled, readjusting her shirt.

"Sure? You don't have work tonight?"

"No, I'm on swing till Christmas." And Sara walked into their bedroom to change. "I'll call Catherine and see if Lindsay wants to babysit – earn a bit of pocket money."

Half an hour later, Lindsay was patting Lilly on the back, the recording of Sara's song helpfully on a CD in the baby's room so it wouldn't be a chore to get her down.

"We should be back by eleven at the latest." Sara said as Gil found his keys. "And I think uncle Gil left some of the chocolate cake we had left over from Greg's birthday in the fridge if you want it." She added in an undertone as Gil led her out the door. They headed to one of their favourite local restaurants and Sara smiled as he pulled her chair out for her.

"Are you trying to make up your earlier comments for me?"

"Yes." He said sheepishly, ordering a bottle of wine for them to share.

"Good move Grissom." She said, nudging him with his foot under the table, giving him a winning smile.

They chatted easily over dinner, Gil explaining the latest cases that had passed across his desk from a nine year old killer who drowned his sister to a killer who was collecting the ears of his victims. As they talked however, Sara could sense that people were becoming uneasy with the topic and hastily changed it to explain what she had learnt over the past year in medicine.

"Oh, god- it's 10:30 already. We should head home since Lindsay has school tomorrow." Sara said, glancing at her watch and standing up. They hurried home and were just opening the door when they heard a crash and a scream.

"Lindsay? Are you OK?" Gil cried as Sara rushed inside. They found her on the floor in the kitchen a broken glass scattered around her and a long gash across her foot.

"I'm sorry Aunt Sara – I just dropped it!" she said as Sara handed her a tea-towel to stem the bleeding.

"It's alright. Gil can you clean this up and I'll help Lindsay out." She said and he nodded, fetching the broom. Sara helped the young girl to her good foot and hobble to the couch, briefly running into the study to get her medical kit. "Let me look." She said and she propped Lindsay's foot up on the coffee table, examining the cut.

"I don't need to go have stitches done I?" she asked anxiously in between her apologies for breaking the glass.

"No, it's not that deep. I can fix it up for you now if you like." And she nodded as Gil came back into the room.

He stood in the shadows watching as his wife pulled out a surgical glue and Betadine to clean the wound, silently cleaning and fixing the gash. Lindsay bit her lip as she watched her aunt pour what looked like super glue into her foot, fanning it with a magazine to dry before putting on a plaster and bandage.

"That's it." She said once she had clipped the bandage and handed her the shoe she could wear. "The glue dissolves as the cut heals, OK? And just stay off the foot for a few days and you can take the bandage off in two."

"Thanks aunty Sara and sorry about your glass again."

"No worries." She said, putting her equipment back in the case as Gil stepped into the light.

"I'll drive you home." He said and he pulled her arm around his shoulder, helping her walk out to the car.

Sara walked into Lilly's room and saw her daughter sleeping soundly, the CD player looping her song. She blushed and turned it off, immediately realising her mistake as she woke up and began to cry.

"Hey there sweetheart." She said, picking her up and patting her on the back. "Mommy's home." And she felt Lilly's hands wrap around her neck, clutching her tightly. Sara felt her sucking gently at her exposed skin at the v of her shirt and rolled her eyes, sitting down in the rocking chair and feeding her a bit more.

"Sara dear?" Gil said as he got back home, shrugging off his jacket and draping it across the sofa.

"In here." He heard her say from Lilly's room and he walked inside to see her putting their daughter back to bed. "She woke up so I fed her a bit more and she just fell back asleep." She said.

"You were amazing with what you did for Lindsay." He said as she closed the bedroom door walking into their own, Gil following her.

"How so? All I did was patch her up."

"You made her feel so relaxed about it all – you'll make a wonderful doctor." And she turned and kissed him.

"Thank you for that. I needed to hear it." And he wrapped his arms around her as she yawned.

"To bed. You have class in the morning." And she nodded, fishing out her pyjamas and pulling them on. They climbed into bed together and Sara curled into Gil's arms, letting him protect her against the winter chill, sleep coming almost immediately.


	25. Chapter 25

As January flourished, routine had settled in at the Grissom house with Gil looking after Lilly two days a week while Sara had to go into university for her classes, often bringing her into the lab where any one who was free fawned over her in his office. The once crawling with bugs and foetal pigs preserved in jars now also housed a portable crib and miscellaneous toys for his daughter to play with while he was at the lab. Gil even now had to carry a baby monitor with him while he was at work in addition to his cell and pager so if she woke up from her nap he could run back to tend to her.

"The routine is working well then?" Sara asked as she came by the lab to pick Lilly up before his grave shift started.

"So far, so good." He admitted with a smile. "Everyone loves the days you go in to school because they get to see her."

"I bet they do." She said taking her from Gil and kissing her cheek. "Everyone loves you, don't they sweetheart." And Greg, knocking on the door walked into the room, his head in a file.

"Hey Griss, I've been looking over the levels of potassium in our victim's blood work and I don't think it's and accident. Oh, hey Sara!" he said spying her and pecking her on the cheek, handing Gil the file. "How's school going?"

"I only have another six months left before I graduate, just before Lilly's first birthday."

"Cool." He said, tickling the girl's stomach, watching her giggle. "You're going to do great."

"Thanks Greg." She said as Gil looked up.

"Go back to Doc Robbins and check our victim's medical records – if he had naturally high potassium, the wrong medications or food could have killed him." He said and Greg took the file back, hurrying down to the morgue.

"Will you be home soon?" she asked, picking up her bag and adjusting Lilly in her arms.

"Hopefully – if there are no more cases called in the next twenty minutes." And she kissed him lightly, turning to leave.

"Give us a ring if you're going to be late. I was thinking a bath later tonight might help us both de-stress."

"I'll definitely hurry then." And Sara smiled, blowing another kiss as she walked out the door, Lilly on her hip.


	26. Chapter 26

That had been their regular routine and it had worked for them in the last month, Sara having a thank-you waiting for Gil when he got home on the long days he would have Lilly at work with him and he would bring home bunches of flowers or take her out to dinner usually once a week. One night Sara woke up early in the morning at the sound of Gil's beeper and she shook him awake, needing to roll back over to sleep for her classes that day.

"Gil, your pager."

"Oh right." And he glanced at the number, picking up his cell and dialling the number. "OK. Fine. I'll see you in twenty minutes." He finished, hanging up the phone. "Honey…"

"We knew you were on call. I'll just have to take Lilly to school." And he nodded sadly.

"It's a shame – I like the days I have her." And Sara gave his a quick squeeze. "I wouldn't go if that wasn't the sheriff who just called me. They found his niece dead and he wants me heading the investigation."

"Don't keep him waiting. Go – we'll be fine." And he got out of bed, hastily dressing before racing out the door.

Sara rolled over in bed, glancing at the alarm clock. 5:45 stared back at her and she sat up, choosing to take a shower before Lilly woke, and true enough, she could hear the cries start as soon as she turned the faucet off. "Just a minute sweetheart!" she called as she dried herself and pulled a robe on, running into the room. "Good morning sweetheart." And she picked her up, giving her a kiss on the top of her head.

"Ma!" she said and Sara nearly dropped her in shock.

"What was that Lilly sweetheart?"

"Ma!" she said again and she held her daughter high, spinning her around, loving the sound of her laughing, grinning herself at her baby's first words.

Laying her down on the change table to pull off her pyjamas and nappy, dressing her for the day, Sara reached for a phone and hit the speed dial for Gil.

"Grissom." He said wearily, obviously not having checked caller ID.

"Gil, she said her first word – she said 'ma'." Sara said excitedly as she put a fresh nappy on, a silence from the other end. "Gil?"

"Oh my goodness – I can't believe I missed this!" and she hit speaker, coaxing Lilly to say the word again.

"Ma!" she said and Gil's cry of jubilation was so loud that Lilly started to cry.

"Sorry!" he said in a hoarse whisper as his wife put the phone back to her ear again, rubbing her back.

"No, my fault – it was still on speaker."

"Wow – I told you her first word would be 'ma'." And Sara smiled, hearing the chaos of the crime scene through the silence.

"You should get back to your scene – I can hear Brass calling for you. I just thought you should here." She said and Gil groaned regretfully.

"I know. This is amazing though. Tell Lilly I love her and I'll try and come home as soon as I can."

"I will. Good luck honey." She said and she hung up the phone, preventing him from drawing out the inevitable.

"You are full of surprises today for mommy, aren't you sweetheart." Sara said as she put a pair of leggings and a shirt on her and Lilly babbled with a smile. She grabbed a bottle of formula from the fridge as they went back into her bedroom and Sara laid her daughter down on the bed with the bottle so she could get dressed. By 7am they were both ready and Sara was making up a few bottles of formula to take in, knowing that her breaks between classes today would not be spent studying, rather feeding or changing her little girl. Still though, she thought, her class mates would today find out why she understood so much about child birth and pregnancy – not having told them about Lilly when she joined the class.

Putting Lilly in her car, along with the stroller, baby bags and all her books they drove into the university – a first for Sara, usually having taken the bus for lack of parking, though today it was not an option. It took her nearly twenty minutes to find a park, meaning by the time she had put Lilly in the stroller and gathered all the gear, she was running late for class.

"Sara – you're late." Her teacher said as she backed into the room.

"Yes, I'm sorry, but I have a good reason." And the class, including Dr Yale, her professor gasped as she pulled Lilly through the door. Whispers flooded through the class room as Dr Yale walked up to her, half frown, half smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, but my husband couldn't take her this morning – he got called into work early. This is my daughter, Lilly."

"Well, this certainly explains why you are at the top of this class. I didn't even know you were married!"

"Three months now." She smiled. "I promise she won't cause any trouble and if she starts crying or being disruptive, we'll leave."

"It's alright. If it's alright, next week I was going to see if one of my former patients wanted to explain what child birth is like from the patient's side, but would you be interested in doing it today?"

"Oh… sure, if you think it will help."

"Well, you will definitely not need to study for that portion of the class. We might do this after the morning break so you can tell me what your delivery was like." Dr Yale said and Sara smiled, nodding at the older woman, taking a seat in the front row, parking her daughter in front of her.

"Looks like we all have an answer to some questions about Ms – sorry, Mrs Grissom. She's just agreed to be our specimen for your questions after morning instead of me actually having to be a doctor and finding a patient." The professor said and she turned the lights out, her morning presentation beginning. For close to an hour, eyes flickered between the power point slides and the 35 year old woman in the front left hand corner till Dr Yale finally called a break and the lights flickered back on.

"So, young Sara, you have been keeping this little one a secret for a long time now."

"I didn't think people would think it would be fair, but I kept her secret for a lot longer than the two months the class was kept in the dark for."

"What do you mean?" Dr Yale asked, taking the seat beside Sara who had picked her daughter up and handed her a formula bottle which she pushed away.

"Sorry, she's a little fussy with me bottle feeding her – do you mind if I breast feed?"

"Not at all. I have four grown children myself and two grand children. My daughter has the same problem at the moment… but tell me what you meant?"

"Well, I was actually living in San Francisco when I found out I was pregnant, and that's where Lilly was born, but I didn't tell Gil – my husband about her till she was four months old." She said, Lilly latching on hungrily. "When I came back for a friend's wedding, I brought her with me and he got to meet her. We got engaged and married less than a month later." She smiled and her professor tickled the bottom of the babe's foot.

"What was your birth like? Natural or Caesarean?" she asked, retorting more to the business side, avoiding the personal questions.

"Natural - forty hours long, breech and my water had to be broken for me." She sighed and Dr Yale smiled.

"You're an interesting case then for the class – and since you've offered to be the case, I'll give you a free pass on the assessment that you would have had to write on yourself since obviously, you are the best person to describe what happened to you." And Sara smiled at the thought of less work.

"What about this little one? Was she alright?"

"Just a little slow coming, but other than that she was healthy."

"What was her Apgar score?"

"8." Sara said, pleased that she could apply the medicine she had learnt to her personal experiences. "She was a little blue and her breathing shallow for the first few hours but by the end of the day, she was pink and screaming like any other baby." She smiled as Lilly finished and Sara quickly did her shirt back up just before her class mates returned to the room.

"So how has this little one been then – she's about seven months I'm guessing?"

"Yeah, she was born at the end of June. She actually said her first word this morning." Sara beamed, throwing a towel over her shoulder so she could burp her daughter.

"Was it 'ma' or 'da'?" her professor asked kindly and Sara grinned even broader.

"It was 'ma' – wasn't it sweetheart?" but the baby shyly turned into her mother's shoulder, just as the class came in.

"Shall we get started then?" Dr Yale asked and Sara stood up, still patting Lilly on the back, the class falling silent.

"Well, we can all do our little Q&A now with an actual recent mother. Sara is going to answer your questions about her pregnancy and birth, but please – she is still your class mate, even if she is ten years older than most of you, so respect the fact that she may not want to divulge more personal aspects." Dr Yale said sitting on the desk at the side as Sara pulled up a chair at the front, sitting down and laying Lilly across her chest.

"Come on, who's first?" the professor said after a few stunned minutes before one of the more obnoxious students raised a hand.

"Why didn't you tell us that you had a baby?" he said, sneering slightly and Sara frowned.

"I wasn't aware I had to." She said, now tracing small circles on her daughter's back as the class laughed at the pupil.

"How old is your baby?"

"Lilly is almost a full seven months old now." And the few students who couldn't tell if Sara had a boy or girl let a murmur of comprehension escape.

"Come on – you are all aspiring obstetricians, you must have some questions of a mother who has dealt personally with one – her experiences, things you can learn from her." Dr Yale said and a few of the shyer hands rose into the air.

"Yeah." Sara said pointing to one and the questions began to flow.

"Can you tell us if you had any complications in delivery?"

"I had a few. After nearly thirty hours of labour, she was still at station T-2, despite the fact I was fully dilated and my water hadn't broken so they did it for me. Then during the delivery, my doctor found that Lilly was breech." She said, a little unsteady at first, but growing more confident when she saw that her classmates were treating her professionally.

She sat there for nearly two hours, Lilly having fallen asleep against her shoulder and she moved her down to lay in her lap, answering all manner of technical questions, smiling inwardly as she saw them take notes on her.

"Any last questions before we break for lunch?" Dr Yale said and one last hand moved into the air.

"Can you give us any advice to a bedside manner that wouldn't offend a labouring mother?" the student said and Dr Yale clapped her hands.

"Good question! Take notes all! Sara?"

"Well, for one, never tell the mother you know what their going through unless you have gone through child birth – they don't want to hear technical speak. Secondly, drop the 'sshhing' and what not – it doesn't help. And the last thing I can think of is to just reassure when ever the mother asks if something is wrong, but be honest if it isn't. I remember being quite upset when my OB didn't tell me how far away I was during labour – she just kept telling me – 'a few more minutes', which translated into nine hours. Other than that, I can't really think of anything." She finished.

"OK all – I'll see you in an hour and a half." Dr Yale said and the class filed out, a few of the students coming up to Sara and congratulating her on her daughter.

"Sara?"

"Yes Dr Yale?" she said standing up, careful not to wake her daughter.

"One of my colleagues emailed me while you were talking – Dr Rodgers – professor of paediatrics and he wants to know if you would be so inclined to introduce your daughter to his class this afternoon."

"Practice work up on her?"

"I'm not sure, but we were going to be covering bedside manner this afternoon, so if you wanted to go over to pedes instead, get a free check up for Lilly, I wouldn't hold it against you." She smiled and Sara nodded.

"Alright." She said, putting her daughter back in the pram, the bag back underneath. "When is the class?"

"Half an hour in room 324. Can I tell Dr Rodgers to expect you?"

"Sure. I'll just grab something to eat and change her." And she wheeled her out of the room.


	27. Chapter 27

Her phone rang as soon as she left the class room and she picked it up, smiling as she heard Gil's voice.

"How's your case going honey?" she asked, heading into the bathroom and putting down a towel as a make shift change table.

"Almost closed. I'm actually back at the lab now and can take Lilly if you want me to."

"We're actually good – aren't we sweetheart. My professor got me to be our class's case study of a delivery with complications and now the paediatrics professor wants me introduce her to the class so they can practice handling babies." And she pulled her out of the pram and laid her on the bench, pulling her leggings down – noting that the nappy had leaked slightly.

"Has she said any thing more?" he asked wistfully and Sara laughed.

"No. She's a bit shy in front of everyone." She said, putting a fresh nappy on and pulling a clean jumpsuit out of the bag. "Are you going to be home in time for dinner?"

"Hopefully before. I'll cook tonight for my two favourite girls."

"Thanks honey."

"My pleasure dear." He said using their pet names. "Oh, that's my trace results – I'll call you later?"

"I'll ring after this class." She said. "I love you." And they hung up the phones just as Sara finally got the jump suit on and Lilly woke up.

"Hello sweetheart!" she said as the babe yawned, clinging onto her mother's neck again. "Are we going to go and get mommy some lunch and then go and see some new people?"

"Mama!" she said and Sara smiled, a solitary tear leaking from her eye as she heard her daughter say her name. Wheeling the pram out with one hand, carrying her with the other they left the bathroom a few minutes later for the café at the end of the hall.

"A coffee and a salad sandwich please Ed." She said, putting Lilly in the pram, making her whinge slightly.

"You finally brought her in!" the young guy said, looking over at the pram and Sara smiled.

"Didn't intend to, but my husband couldn't take her." She told him. She and Ed had struck up a friendly relationship and as such he was one of the few people on campus who knew she had a child.

"Is she eating solids yet?"

"Only mash fruit and veg – she's not getting any of those brownies of yours just yet. Maybe on her first birthday." She said, exchanging money for her food as she walked away to the wing she needed to get to.

"Dr Rodgers?" she said, approaching the sixty year old man waiting outside the room.

"You must be Mrs Grissom." He smiled, shaking her hand.

"Please, call me Sara." She said but he shook his head.

"I will, but I would prefer my students to call you Mrs Grissom, since that is what they would have to call you if your daughter was one of their patients."

"Of course." She said and he opened the door for her, leading her into the intimate room which was currently devoid of students. She sat down in one of the chairs, putting her coffee on the desk and pulling Lilly out the stroller.

"Would you like me to take you through the lesson I would like to involve you in before the class arrive? And thank you by the way for agreeing to be involved. Dr Yale said she'd give you extra credit for this." And Sara blushed as her daughter started to play with her earrings.

"Yeah sure." She said, fishing out Lilly's duck toy and giving it to her.

"Well, there are only twelve students in this class and with you're permission, I would like them to examine her, separately to see how they cope with a child suffering from separation anxiety, especially when they are being poked and prodded."

"That's fine, and I'm sure she'll give them a run for their money – she doesn't like strangers too much. Look." And she handed Lilly to Dr Rogers, watching as she immediately started screaming and reaching for her mother.

"Good." He smiled, handing her back. "Now, I'm going to stay with the student while they're examining, and I would like you to talk to the remaining students about any queries you have asked your doctor and see what they say." And she nodded. "We're just going to be in here – you can watch through the glass."

"OK, but if Lilly sees me, she will try and reach for me – it might get a bit much."

"If it does, we'll call you in. Is that OK?"

"Yes – as long as I can keep watching." And he nodded, looking over as door opened and the small class filed in.

"Class, this is Mrs Grissom. She's a med student in OB like you, but she is also the mother to Lilly here. Today, you are going to individually examine her with me observing while the rest of you answer any questions Mrs Grissom may pose her own paediatrician." And they sat down obediently, waiting to be called. "Mrs Grissom, would you mind taking your daughter into the exam room over here and we'll be in, in just a moment."

"Sure." She said, standing up and pushing the stroller inside, closing the door, noting that it deadened sound. Sara laid her down on the white bed and waved the duck above her head, smiling as she heard her cry 'ma!' as she reached for it.

"OK Mrs Grissom, we'll come and get you if we need you, but we shouldn't be longer than about an hour." Dr Rodgers said and she kissed Lilly's forehead, walking out the room, her heart breaking as she heard her begin to cry.

"Does she always cry?" one of the students asked as she closed the door, looking through the window.

"Just when my husband or I aren't with her." She said, sitting down, still looking through the window.

"So, do you have questions for us? Like stuff you'd ask your own doctor?"

"Well, she had a cough last month, what would you have recommended I do?" and the students looked around at each other.

"Put her in a room with a humidifier and see if it eases it up. If not, come back for another visit." Another student said and she smiled.

"That's what her doctor said." And she turned to the window, seeing her daughter still screaming. Dr Rodger's caught her eye and beckoned her into the room which she did immediately.

"It's alright sweetheart." She said, sitting down in the chair beside the bed and the screams quieted some what.

"See Mr Davis – sometimes you may need the parent in the room even if they can be interfering." Dr Rodgers said nodding to Sara as the student listened to Lilly's heart. "OK, you're done – send in another student and you can go."

For the next hour the students came in performing the same examination, Lilly becoming increasingly irritable with the people poking and prodding her.

"All done sweetheart." She said as the last student left and she finally picked her up, cradling her against her chest, pulling the jumpsuit up.

"Thank you for this Mrs Grissom. You've been a big help to my class."

"It's my pleasure. I take it Lilly's healthy?"

"As a horse." He said with a smile and Sara put her daughter back into the pram wheeling her outside.


	28. Chapter 28

"We're home." Sara said as they walked through the door later that afternoon, having seen Gil's car in the drive way.

"How was Lilly's first day at college?" Gil called from the kitchen and they walked in, the aromatic pasta sauce greeting their nostrils.

"She was adored by my OB class then the pedes class all practiced examining her, so she's a little tired." Sara said, handing her over to him and Lilly smiled.

"Ma!" she said and his heart swelled with pride at her first word.

"She hasn't said anything else yet." She smiled, taking the spoon and stirring the sauce, then lifting the lid of the pasta. "Can you try and feed her? She wouldn't take the bottle or the apple from me but you might have more luck."

"Sure." And he put her in the high chair, grabbing one of the jars of mash and a spoon. "Hey – she is actually eating!" he said and Sara turned around to see that she was taking the food he offered her.

"Well, dinner is your duty now." She said, turning off the stove and spooning the dinner into bowls for them.

"Did you close the sheriff's case?" Sara asked, handing him a bowl and taking a bite of her pasta.

"Yeah, turns out that while every piece of separate evidence pointed to murder, it was a straight up accident." He said, Lilly happily taking another mouthful of mushed apple.

"What happened?" she asked.

"She fell in the tool shed and her neck hit the garden shearers, severing the carotid artery."

"That's terrible. Give my condolences to the sheriff for me." And he nodded, giving Lilly another spoonful. "Do you have to work tonight still?"

"Unfortunately yes. Ecklie wouldn't give me time off, so I start at midnight. I thought I would give Lilly a bath for you before I left." And Sara nodded sadly.

"He really is a bastard. I wish I had more time with you." And she kissed him across the table. "Can't you call in sick?"

"I would if they hadn't seen me well less than three hours ago." And he scooped the last spoonful of apple, this one though, Lilly refused it, hitting the spoon, the fruit going every where.

"OK – bath time for both of you." Sara smiled, seeing the apple hit Gil in the face and a little in her daughter's hair. Gil smiled, standing up and brushing apple off his glasses but they just clouded over, necessitating her to pick up their girl and lead the two of them into the bathroom. "In the shower Gil." And he obeyed her command, stripping off – ensuring that Sara had a good view, and stepped under the water. She smiled as he gave her the strip show, peeling Lilly's jumpsuit and nappy off before passing her to her husband.

"Are you coming to join us?" he asked, turning the water down slightly so he didn't burn her.

"If you like." And Sara pulled her own clothes off, opening up the curtain.

Gil kissed her lightly as she put her arms around both of them, caressing the back of Lilly's head. The baby girl reached up for the trickle of water coming from her father's beard and Sara smiled, seeing her small hand open and close at the trail.

"This is the first time she hasn't reached for me when we're both here." She said smiling, grabbing the baby shampoo and massaging it through the now thick crop of hair on Lilly's head.

"She really knows me now." He smiled, moving her under the water to rinse his hair.

Every other person who came into contact with her resulted in tears and Lilly reaching for Sara if she was there, Gil if she wasn't. It had been a little hard for her to become used to their friends, only tolerating Catherine, Brass, Nick and Greg for a few minutes before wanting to go back to her parents and unfortunately, it didn't look as though this would change.

"Are the rest of the guys working tonight?" she said, now rubbing the same shampoo into Gil's hair.

"Yeah. Brass is off, but otherwise…"

"I might come in with you then, since they all missed seeing Lilly today." And Gil smiled broadly.

"For that – I'll assign myself to lab work." And he handed Lilly to his wife so he could rinse his hair.

"We'll come in once Lilly is asleep, ok?"

"Sure." He said and tweaking her ass, he stepped out of the shower.

"Dirty old man!" she cried. "Take her for a minute so I can wash my hair." And a pair of arms reached into the shower again, taking his daughter.

Five minutes later Sara stepped out of the shower and saw Gil putting a fresh nappy onto their little girl.

"Mama!" she giggled as he pulled yet another jumpsuit out of the draws, putting it on her.

"She will say 'dada' soon." Sara said, leaning against the door frame, tying the knot of her robe.

"I hope so." He said wistfully, just as his phone rang from the next room and he handed Lilly to his wife, running to answer it.

"See you in a few hours." She said as he stuck his head back into the room apologetically and he nodded, grabbing his keys and running out the door. Gil drove silently towards the crime scene he had just been given, not even the usual blare of the radio filling his ears.

"What do we have Riley?" he asked, pulling up and climbing out of his car, nodding to Vega who was talking to a passer by.

"Jasmine Flower – a local stripper according to the guy who found her. Her ID was in her the purse on the back seat. Shot once in the head, once in the chest. I think the head shot was delivered several minutes though after the chest shot – no vital response… I've been spending too much time with Doc Robbins – haven't I?" she said taking a breath and Gil shrugged, a smile still playing on his face.

"Is David on his way?"

"He's got another body but should be here in the next half hour."

"OK then, Start processing. This can be your final proficiency since you seem to be so familiar with the case." And he put his kit down, watching the young girl smile with his hands behind his back.

"Thanks Grissom." She beamed, and she turned around, bending over the car the stripper was in.

"How's Sara and Lilly?" Vega asked, walking up to Gil and he smiled broadly.

"She said her first word earlier today." The joy clear in his face.

"What was it?"

"Ma – mama." He smiled, thinking of his wife and daughter back at home.

"And how is Sara? Still studying?"

"Yeah, she has a little over four months before she finished med school and starts her internship year." He said grinning handing Vega the photos he had come to carry around in his pocket.

"She's beautiful." He said, handing the photos back after a minute or two.

"Both of them. I'm luck to have them." Gil concurred as Riley waved him over.

"What have you got here?" he asked bending down and she pulled the glock out from under the seat.

"The reason I can't do this case anymore as proficiency. This is a cop's service weapon. If we match the bullet in our vic's head, it becomes an internal nightmare."

"I agree. But that doesn't mean you can't process this as a proficiency. I'll deal with any IAB involvement though for you." He said kindly, stepping back.


	29. Chapter 29

Sara walked into the lab with her sleeping child a little before midnight and she ran into Greg almost as soon as she stepped through the doors.

"Hey Sara, how are you?" he said, giving Sara a kiss on the cheek.

"A consummate night owl. You?"

"I'm alright. Living the high life, you know. How's Lilly here?" he said, cupping the back of her head as the two of them walked towards Gil's office, sitting down inside.

"She's good although, Gil said you all missed her today while I took her into class with me, so I thought I'd make it up to you. She'll probably sleep though."

"Doesn't matter." He said as Catherine walked absently into the office, a file obscuring her face.

"Hey!" she said, seeing them as she turned to walk back out of the office. "Gil didn't tell us you were coming in."

"Unplanned." Sara said smiling, rocking her daughter slightly. "You know, she said her first word today." And both Greg and Catherine made faces of silent jubilation. "She said 'mama'."

"Well, now that she's started, she won't stop." Catherine said running a finger down the seven month olds face, just as Greg dashed out of the office, his pager ringing.

"Is Lindsay's foot alright?" Sara asked as Lilly snuggled closer to her mother in her sleep.

"Yeah – thank you for patching her up, she was so embarrassed that she broke your glass."

"It's just a glass." Sara said smiling, shaking her head slightly. "She should be able to walk on it now."

"I tell her cause she's been milking me for what it's worth." And Sara smiled again. "You know Sara – you look exhausted. You should go home and get some sleep – Lilly's already out for the count."

"Not exactly. She is still waking up at around one am every night so by that count, she'll be awake in twenty minutes – give or take." And almost on cue, Lilly started to shift in her arms, her face scrunching and her eyes starting to open.

"Hey there sweetheart." Sara said, seeing her daughter fidget and Catherine held out her hands to take the baby.

"Hi there Lilly." She smiled and she sat down, watching the younger woman fish a bottle out of her bag.

"Do you mind giving it to her? She won't take it from me."

"I'd love to." Catherine said, taking the bottle and giving it to the infant as Gil came into his office.

"Good morning dear." He said, kissing his wife lightly, sitting on the arm of her chair.

"How's your case going?" she asked.

"It's waiting for Wendy to finish with the DNA evidence." He said putting his arms around Sara. "Did she just wake up?"

"Yeah. Sara asked me to feed her." Catherine said as the Grissom girl hungrily drank from the bottle.

"She'll be asleep again in about half an hour though." Sara smiled, holding Gil's arm around her shoulders. Lilly pushed the bottle away a minute later and Catherine helped her sit up, watching as the baby reached out her arms to her parents.

"Mama!" she cried and the older woman smiled, handing the girl over.

Grissom took his daughter and patted her back, calming her before she started to cry.

"Oh, that's me." Catherine said as her pager went off. "I've got to head to trace." And she walked out of the room.

"What time do you get off shift?" Sara asked as Gil stood up, pacing the floor with Lilly.

"Seven. I thought I'd make pancakes when I got back before I woke you up." He smiled now tracing small circles on his daughter's back.

"Mmmm. You going to do them just the way I like them?"

"Of course." He said as Lilly played with his beard.

"I think your DNA results are in." Sara said as his pager started bleeping, just as Catherine's had.

"I'm sorry dear." He said but Sara stood up, kissing him deeply, taking their child back.

"I'll see you in the morning honey." And he walked out of the room, glancing over his shoulder, waving good bye.

"Are you going to go back to sleep sweetheart?" she said to her daughter, tickling her stomach. Sara hoisted her daughter higher on her side and they walked together back downstairs to her car, strapping the baby in before climbing into the front seat.

"Come on Lilly, you need to go back to sleep for mommy." And they drove off into the night.


	30. Chapter 30

Two months later, Lilly was crawling around the apartment as Gil sat beside Sara on their couch, his arms around her waist, both of them smiling as they watched their daughter explore one of the potted plants in the corner. She had cut her first few teeth now which was a pain for Sara but Gil's heart had swelled with pride when he heard her say 'dada' about two weeks after Sara had her 'mama'.

"Oh, no Lilly, don't touch that." Sara said getting to her feet after several silent minutes of watching her and she pulled her away from Hank's dog food. "It's yucky."

"It is only bran, vegetable extracts and whole grain." Gil said, leaning back in the couch, laughing slightly as Sara threw him a look.

"There's a reason they call it 'dog food' honey." And she handed Lilly to him.

Gil was loving the time he had with his daughter as Sara had to spend more and more of her time studying for her final exams in three weeks time. He would throw her questions over the dinner table to test her as Sara's request and he was constantly amazed that she had mastery of the subject, far beyond what ever he could.

"What is the Apgar score?" he threw at her as he made dinner that evening.

"Categorization of newborns by health." She smiled, turning a page of her text book, her hair falling in front of her eyes.

"You're going to ace this exam, if only for the fact that you have actually had a baby and therefore know what it's like."

"Knowing what is like is one thing, knowing the technicalities is another." She said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Are you sure it's fine to take Lilly to work while I have my exams?"

"Yep and if I'm gone when you get called in for your practical delivery, Mandy said that day or night, you can call her. I'm not sure why she's so eager though." Gil said, tossing the salad he had made and pouring a vinaigrette in.

"She's pregnant, but only a few weeks." Sara smiled, looking up from her book.

"Wow! I'm guessing that only you and Nick know?" and she nodded.

"Mandy asked me to be her OB, pending on me actually receiving my licence so I got her on the books of the registrar I'm doing my internship with."

"You'll get it." He said, placing the salad bowl on the table and kissing her cheek.

"Don't tell the rest of the lab that you know… about Nick and Mandy I mean."

"I wouldn't. It's their secret." And he closed her book, pushing it away.

"I'll get Lilly." She smiled, standing up and pulling their daughter out of her play pen, putting her in her high chair.

"Are you going to let mommy feed you sweetheart?" she said, strapping her in and pulling the bowl of mashed potato and pumpkin towards them.

"Mama!" she said happily opening her mouth for the spoon.

"Good girl Lilly." Gil said putting salad on his wife's plate beside the kebabs he had made.

"Thank goodness. I thought it would take forever to get her to take food from me."

"I still like feeding her though." He said smiling and Sara laughed, Lilly mimicking the action.

"Isn't daddy funny?" Sara said, giving her daughter another spoonful.

"Daaaa" she said as she swallowed and both parents grinned at each other, resuming their dinner together.


	31. Chapter 31

"Pens down." The examiner said and Sara dropped hers, closing the exam paper and exhaling softly. She handed her paper to the elderly man as she walked out of the room and pulled her cell out, dialling the familiar number.

"All done." She said, unable to contain her smile.

"As am I." Gil said. "What do you say you come by the lab and by then I should be finished and we can all go for dinner?"

"I'd love that." She said. "How's Lilly?"

"Well, when I got to work, Mandy was waiting in my office and she just took her from me and I haven't seen her since."

"Well, we can get her when I get there." She figured, climbing into her car and pulling out. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"See you then dear." He said hanging up and Sara let her phone fall into the passenger seat, heading towards the place her family was.

"So you're finished with med school?" Gil said kissing his wife as she walked into his office beaming broadly.

"I just have my assist delivery and that will be at any time, day or night in the next seven days… and then, it's just a matter of waiting for my results."

"You'll do fine – I'm sure of it." And she nodded, putting her bag down.

"I'm going to go and get Lilly and do you think by the time I extract her from Mandy you'll be ready for dinner?"

"I should be." And she disappeared out the door.

"Hey sweetheart!" she said as Sara reached Mandy's lab.

"Hey – did your exams go well?" Mandy asked, turning around on her chair to see Sara picking her daughter out of the playpen in the corner.

"I hope so." She said, tickling her little stomach and smiling as the baby giggled. "Do you still feel sick?"

"Not really… but it's not morning." She smiled, letting her hand travel down to her stomach where she knew its flat surface would be round before long.

"So Gil said that you basically kidnapped her this morning when he brought her in. You looking for more practice are you?"

"Maybe a little" she said as Nick came in.

"Hey Sara." He said seeing his friend standing there. "Mandy told me that she shared our secret with you."

"When are you coming out with it?"

"Give it a few more weeks or so." She said as Nick wrapped his arms around her.

"Well, thanks for looking after her Mandy." Sara smiled and she collapsed the pen, piling the toys into the bag and left the office.

"Ready?" Gil said as she came back into his office, putting the gear down.

"Yeah. Do you want to pack these things up a little more though?" and he nodded, fixing the crib, playpen and toys into the bags.

"What do you feel like dear?"

"Takeout and a foot massage at home." She said and he grinned, throwing the bags over his shoulders and an arm around her waist, leading her out the building.

"I'll pick some up on my way and see you at home." He said and she kissed him, taking Lilly and she drove off in the sunset towards their apartment.

Lilly was asleep by the time Gil got home and Sara was laying on the couch, half asleep, her ears straining for any sounds from her daughter. He closed the door softly as he came in and set the Chinese food down on the table walking over to his wife. Kissing her softly Sara smiled, snaking her arms around his neck holding him down and he fell on top of her.

"I love you." He whispered against her lips and she ran her fingers through his hair, kissing him again.

"Love you." She mumbled and she parted her lips for his prying tongue.

Dinner was all forgotten on the kitchen bench as the couple systematically pulled clothes off the other and bathed themselves in the other's presence. Sara gasped loudly as he entered her, her eyes fogging as they moved together. Gil wrapped one of Sara's legs around his hip, his hand running up her side, grazing the side of her breast, both of them clinging for contact. It didn't take either of them long to come crying into each other's mouths, silently experiencing their pleasure.

"What do you say we take a trip after you do your prac? Just the three of us." Gil said, pulling his boxers back on and handing Sara his shirt which she donned, doing up a few of the buttons.

"A belated honeymoon?"

"Something like that. What do you say?"

"I say… where?" and he smiled, kissing the tip of her nose and handing her one of the Chinese boxes and a set of chopsticks.

"We'll think about it." And they sat back down on the couch in front of the TV.

Three days later came the phone call Sara had been waiting for and within five minutes she had handed Lilly over to Gil and raced to Desert Palm hospital for her practical exam.

"Dr Yale." She said, nodding as she walked into the room wearing a set of scrubs.

"OK, Mrs Green, this is Sara. She's one of my students. She's going to walk you through this delivery though I will be the one actually delivering your little one tonight, OK?"

"OK." The woman panted as Sara picked up the chart.

"Seven centimetres along, T-1 station." She said aloud and her teacher nodded.

"What does that mean?" the mother said and Sara grabbed a wash cloth, dabbing at her forehead, smiling slightly at the anxious father beside the bed.

"It means you only have a couple of hours to go. Things are progressing quite nicely."

"OK, Sara. I want you to stay here and look after Mr and Mrs Green while I check on another patient. If she manages to get to nine centimetres, page me." And Dr Yale left the room.

"Can I get you some ice chips Mrs Green?" Sara asked, handing the wash cloth to the husband and motioning that he should continue. The woman nodded and she spooned some into her mouth. "Is this your first child?"

"Yes." Mr Green said as his wife began to contort again. Sara quickly went to the edge of the bed to check.

"Good work Mrs Green, just breathe through it. It will pass soon." And the woman snapped.

"What would you know? Everyone else who has been in here keeps telling me that, but it doesn't work!" she cried and Sara withdrew her hand, pulling off the glove and sitting down on the stool.

"Mrs Green, I have a daughter who's nearly ten months old. I do have some idea of what you're going through. So, take a deep breath in for me" and she watched as Mrs Green did as she was told. "And now out. I promise – when you hear your little one cry for the first time this will all be worth it." She said and the woman followed the breathing pattern.

"I'm sorry Sara." The woman cried.

"It's OK. When I was in labour I actually broke an orderly's hand from squeezing it to hard." And she laughed at the anecdote.

"How are we going in here Mrs Green? Is Sara doing her job?" Dr Yale said coming back into the room.

"She's at nine centimetres now, contractions are every minute." Sara said to her teacher.

"OK Mr and Mrs Green, we're going to take you into delivery now." Dr Yale said and she pulled the bed away from the wall motioning for Sara to grab the other end.

"So, Sara – what do we do?" her teacher said.

"First check to ensure that the mother is at 10 centimetres and that the baby is fully effaced."

"Right – what then?"

"Instruct the mother to push with the contraction, pushing for ten seconds then resting till the next contraction."

"Good. Mrs Green, did you hear that?" and she nodded. "Ready to be a mom?"

Sara stood back as she saw the woman scream and writhe in pain, yet doing as she was told. It was like a mirror of her own experience, seeing her there and she came out of the shadows, taking her free hand so that she had another to hold.

"One more and you'll get to see your baby." Dr Yale said and with a final scream and a gush of blood, a child was born. "Congratulations Mr and Mrs Green. You have a little boy." And she cut the cord – the baby now screaming, handing the boy to his mother. Sara stood back smiling and Dr Yale cleaned her up, smiling at her oldest student.

"Thank you." Mrs Green said genuinely. "Thank you Dr Yale… and you too Sara."

"You passed Sara. Your exam too. I guess you are Dr Grissom now." She smiled broadly and Sara couldn't contain her joy. "You can go home to your family." And Sara dashed out of the room.


	32. Chapter 32

"How did it go?" Gil asked as Sara walked through the door smiling.

"You are now looking at Dr Sara Grissom, (M.S 1991, MD 2003)" and Gil scooped her into his arms twirling her in his arms.

"I told you that you would ace everything." He said putting her down a minute later and he kissed her lightly. "Should we celebrate?"

"I just want to crawl into bed and have you wrap your arms around me." She smiled and he kissed her nose making her smile. "Where's Lilly?"

"In her room." Gil said releasing her and she walked down the hall, opening the door.

Sara saw her daughter sitting in her crib, holding the bars and trying to pull herself up.

"Hello sweetheart." She said walking into the room and picking her up, kissing her forehead.

"Mama!" she said clutching her shoulders and Sara laughed, tickling her tummy. "Ma bub bub bub." And she carried her daughter out of the room to where Gil was still sitting.

"What time do you have to go into work?"

"Not till midnight." He said wrapping his arms around her, Lilly cradling herself between her parents. "Well, it's already eight and both you and Lilly look as though you could do with some sleep." He added as Sara yawned.

"OK then." She said, standing up and taking Lilly into their room.

She laid Lilly down on the bed and climbed in beside her. Gil smiled from the door as his daughter cuddled up to her mother, closing her eyes. Sara brushed a hand up and down her back as Gil lay down beside them.

"You know, I saw a woman today give birth to her first child. She was so happy to see him."

"Like you were when Lilly was born?"

"I don't know. I never saw my own reaction, but I can imagine." She smiled, absorbing his kiss.

"I bet you would have been just as happy." He said and he wrapped his arms around both of them, Lilly cradled between them.


	33. Chapter 33

Sara woke up in the early in the morning as Lilly shifted in her embrace and she smiled down at her daughter, brushing a lock of her hair off her face.

"Good morning sweetheart." She said ad her little girl reached to grab her hair.

"Mama." She said sitting up and pulling her mother's shirt.

"We're going to go and see aunty Mandy today after we do the shopping. She's going to have a baby too."

"Mama!" she just said again and Sara sat up, letting her daughter crawl into the living room as she fetched a bottle of formula for her. Scooping her up a few moments later, Sara put her daughter in her high-chair and gave her the bottle. She pottered around the house, making the bed, changing and putting some coffee on.

"Ma!" Lilly cried after five minutes and the telltale clunk of plastic told Sara that she had dropped her bottle, and she rushed back to pick it up.

"OK darling." She said, pulling her shirt straight and lifting her daughter out of the high chair, holding her on her hip as she put the rest of the things together, finally grabbing the keys, the two of them walking out the door.

They waited at the door for twenty minutes before Mandy struggled to open it, green in the face.

"Oh sweetie." Sara said, walking inside and she ran back to the bathroom, retching. "How bad is it?"

"It will clear up in about twenty minutes." She choked from the bathroom and Sara put Lilly down, holding her up as she balanced on her toes.

"Are you trying to walk sweetheart?" she asked her daughter, letting go of her hands and she fell back down on her butt, beginning to cry. "Oh, it's alright." And she picked her back up, patting her back.

Mandy came out a few minutes later, whipping her mouth, smiling as Sara tried to settle her daughter. "She's almost ready to start walking but keeps falling over." She smiled, patting her back, still trying to reconcile her after the ill fated attempt. "Is your morning sickness really that bad?"

"Was it as bad for you?" she asked, sitting down, reaching for stale crackers.

"Not a bundle of pleasure of course, but I thought it was all just stress, what with Warrick having just died, me leaving Gil and trying to start a new life in California. How's Nick been treating you?"

"He's been amazing when he's home with me. I swear, he's stocking up of food at the lab because at the moment, all he's getting here is flat lemonade, dry crackers and the occasional piece of fruit."

"Well, when I see him away from you – I'll feed him carbs." And Mandy laughed over Lilly's cries.

"Do you want to have a cuddle with Aunty Mandy?" Sara asked her daughter and she buried her face in her mother's shoulder. "Maybe next time." And Mandy shrugged.

"I'll have my own soon. Did you get me an appointment at your clinic?"

"For Monday morning at ten. You are my first patient."

"Well, I'm honoured. I'll bring Nick and he can mock your new carer."

"I'll tell him that the cost of the appointments is paying for my med school bills so technically, he's paying." And the girls laughed, Mandy covering her hands with her stomach.

"Do you think you'll have any more kids? Now that you and Grissom are married?" and she sighed, Lilly still crying.

"I never really wanted kids before I had Lilly – I don't know if I want any more – especially since I know what labour is like now."

"Really?"

"Trust me – in eight months, you are going to ask Nick never to touch you again."

"Well, get my mind off it. Are we going for coffee?" and Sara nodded, standing up and the two of them walking out of the house with Lilly.

The pair ended up heading to the lab after only an hour, choosing to be where most of their friends were instead of the overdone café.

"This is a nice surprise." Gil said as Sara walked into his office, handing Lilly to him.

"I think someone missed you." She said, giving him a light kiss, sitting back down on the chair. "She tried walking earlier, but the only result was another bruised bottom."

"Well, soon." He said, his daughter grabbing his beard, trying to pull it out.

"Gil, Mandy said something to me earlier and I really didn't know what to think about it…" Sara said tentatively, getting a bottle of water out of her bag and handing it to her daughter.

"What is it honey?" he asked concerned, wiping some water away that Lilly dribbled.

"Mandy wanted to know if we were going to have more kids." She said and the shock was quickly displayed on his face before melting into his usual state of calm. "Gil?"

"I love Lilly." He said, kissing her cheek.

"But do you want to love more than just Lilly… and me?" she asked, still fearful.

"It might be nice for Lilly to have a brother or sister." He said slowly and Sara had to admit that she was shocked.

Before she had introduced Lilly into his life – before she had even fallen pregnant, Sara always thought that the life they would create together was one of quiet serendipity with their dog and science – comfortable with each other, without the need for more. Now though, the life she had once pictured was clouded. Lilly changed a lot of the plans she had in her head and it was something that couldn't be reversed – not like ordering the wrong type of coffee at starbucks.

"Think about it Sara – Lilly, growing up by herself? Didn't you love the times you had with your brother – not like my lonely childhood."

"Some parts, but my mother used to say that our arguing was the reason they fought themselves."

"That cannot be the only reason." He said. "But you loved your brother, right?"

"Till he got addicted to crack, yeah. So you're saying that you think Lilly should have a brother or sister?"

"I think I am." He said. "I love you and Lilly, and I'd love it if we had another baby." And Sara smiled, taking their daughter from him as she began to cry, reaching for her mother. "You're not pregnant now, are you?"

"No! No, no, no, no, no." she said, shaking her head quickly. "But I promise if and when I fall pregnant, I'll tell you this time." And he kissed her, standing up and checking the computer.


	34. Chapter 34

A month later, Lilly was clumsily walking, several steps at a time – the extra nappy Sara had put on her, preventing the bruises that resulted from her falls and Mandy and Nick had announced their news to the world. They had been especially surprised when Sara announced that the spot on the ultrasound actually told them that they were having twins – everyone else just as surprised, but as Doc Robbins put it, the more the merrier.

"Congratulations again Nick." Catherine said, kissing his cheek, the day they announced, even though several people already knew.

"Thanks." He said, Lilly grabbing his pant leg as she unsteadily walked over to her father – falling short and letting the older woman pick her up.

"Hi Lilly." Catherine said, tickling her stomach.

"No!" she cried excitedly and Sara walked over to them.

"Her word of the week." She explained, handing Catherine a glass of the non-alcoholic champagne they were all forced to drink while on the clock. "Hey sweetheart."

"Mama no!" Lilly replied, reaching out and grabbing her earring.

"Ah, ah Lilly." Sara said, taking her daughter, giving her a small piece of cheese to nibble on. "Do you know if Lindsay is free this weekend to look after this vampire?"

"I'm going to go with – still breast feeding occasionally, but the teeth make it interesting." And she nodded. "I don't know about the weekend though. I'll get her to give you a ring. Are you and Gil planning on going out?"

"Just trying to get a night alone. It's been a while." And Catherine smiled.

"I'll get her to give you a ring."

"Do you want to head home sweetheart?" Sara asked her daughter an hour later but the child just yawned, snuggling into her mother. "Gil?"

"Yeah." He said, walking over to them, his arm around his wife.

"We need to get Lilly to bed." She said, swapping arms and he kissed her forehead.

"Sure. I'll just grab those papers off my desk and see you at the car in ten?"

"OK." And she gave him a light peck, Gil walking away. "You and I are having coffee tomorrow – right?" and Catherine nodded, kissing the top of Lilly's sleepy head in farewell.

She walked down to the car, unlocking it and strapping Lilly in her seat as they waited for Gil. "Daddy's running a bit late sweetheart but we'll be home soon."

"No mama. Dada no." she replied, playing with Sara's curls as a set of familiar footsteps came from behind them.

"Yes – daddy's here." Gil said and Sara turned around with a slight smile.

"Yes." Lilly replied, smiling still and he climbed into the driver's seat, Sara into the passenger's – closing their daughter's door.

"Do you have everything you need?"

"Yeah." He said, resting his hand on her thigh for a moment and she smiled at him.

"You're not going to work at home though, are you?"

"The papers I have are just things I have to sign. I can have it all done by the time you put Lilly to bed…" he trailed off, turning a corner.

"Good. It's nice to get some time alone together." She smiled as they turned into their street.

Sara pulled Lilly out of her capsule as Gil gathered his papers, carrying her tired child into the house. "Can you make some tea Gil while I put her down?" she asked, walking into Lilly's room and putting her pyjamas on.

"Mama." She said, holding onto her neck as Sara tried to put her in the crib.

"It's bed time Lilly."

"Mama!" she cried again, beginning to cry and Sara brought her back out into the lounge.

"She doesn't want to let you go?" Gil asked, handing her some tea and she shook her head, sighing.

"Separation anxiety. I don't think we'll get any time alone for a little while yet." And he smiled, sitting down, pulling her feet into his lap – massaging them.

"Maybe you could try that song of yours again." He suggested and Sara blushed.

"I haven't sung that in months."

"Give it a try. If we have more children, you'll end up singing it again anyway." And she smiled, starting to hum her song, even though Lilly was already on her way to sleep.

An hour later, Gil picked Lilly up of Sara's weary shoulder, putting her in the crib, turning back to see that she had fallen asleep on the couch.

"Sara?" he said, shaking her slightly and she jerked awake, seeing his face and kissing him lightly.

"Sorry. I had a delivery late last night remember."

"Yeah." He said, pulling her to her feet and into their bedroom, closing the door. "Are you still tired honey?"

"No – five minutes here, ten there and I'm all good." She smiled, kissing him again, the two of them toppling on the bed, still conjoined at the lips.

Within twenty minutes, they were both sweaty and naked, under the sheets, Sara with her eyes still closed from pleasure.

"I love you." She breathed, tucking her hair behind her ear just as Gil leaned over her again for a kiss.

"We have got to do this more often." He said, pulling her across his chest and breathing in the sent of her hair.

"I know." She smiled, kissing his chest. "We should call Lindsay and ask her to look after Lilly for a week or so and we can run away and just spend it in bed."

"I agree." He said, his arm wrapping around her waist. "I love you."

"Mmmm." She said, closing her eyes in sleep.


	35. Chapter 35

Six months later, Lilly started going to day care at Sara's OB office, her uneasy steps having turned into comfortable strides as she ran to either of her parents. Nick was now eager, any time Sara brought Lilly to the lab, to change her nappy or help feed her – that anxious was he to know how to do some of the things a father should in anticipation of his twins' arrival, which was just a month away.

"Nick – you have to calm down." Sara said as she came by one evening with Lilly.

"In one month there is going to be two kids in our house – we're not ready for this!" he said, sitting down in the chair, and Gil laughed slightly, tickling his daughter's stomach. "February 4th." He breathed and Sara put a finger under his chin, tilting his head up – forcing him to look at her.

"Nicky, breath. I was a basket case before Lilly was born but you learn how to be a parent. Even this old dog learnt." She said, thrusting her thumb at Gil who waved.

"Ok. Grissom – can I go home?" Nick asked and he smiled, letting the young man leave.

"We're you really so bad?" Gil asked as Sara turned back to her husband, giving him a light kiss and taking the stapler from Lilly before she stapled her t-shirt to the desk.

"It was hard work, but I managed. It didn't make it any less stressful though." And he smiled, giving her another kiss.

"Mama go big girl?" Lilly asked as her mother took the hole-punch away and Gil frowned.

"What's she saying?" he asked.

"She want's to know if we can go to my work. See the 'big girls' – A.K.A, see pregnant ladies." She smiled, picking Lilly up. "Tomorrow sweetheart – we can see them tomorrow." And the little girl smiled.

"She will start speaking fluently soon, won't she?" Gil asked concernedly.

"By about two and even then it will still be a little in cohesive. You'll pick it up."

"One can only hope." He said, kissing Lilly's cheek and she laughed.

"We were going to see your mother for dinner tonight. We should get going so we're not late." Sara said, turning Lilly's stroller around and putting her in it.

"Oh yeah – right. Let me just drop this stuff on Ecklie's desk and we can go." He said, picking up a pile of papers and running out of the office as Sara strapped their daughter into the stroller and picked up her bag. Ten minutes later they were siting waiting at the restaurant, the two parents trying to calm Lilly who looked about to cry in the high chair.

"I think we're going to have to give the elephant." Gil said, opening the bag.

"We were trying to ween her off that toy – it's disgusting." She protested, just as Gil's mother walked through the restaurant door.

"Dianne!" Sara said standing up, giving her mother-in-law a kiss on the cheek and Gil hugging his mother.

"Hey mom." Gil said and he pulled her chair out for her to sit in.

"It's wonderful to see you. Oh and look at how big Lilly is now. Is it sixteen months now?"

"Nineteen." He said as the waiter came over for their drink orders.

"She looks just like you Sara." Dianne said and she smiled. "Beautiful." And Sara blushed to match her smile.

"Yeah mom – she's walking and talking and everything now."

"Oh yes. Lilly – I'm grand-ma. Grand-ma!" she said turning to the child simply babbled.

"Perhaps by the end of the night." Sara said, as the waiter handed them their drinks. "If you keep repeating it." And they laughed, turning to their menus.

Two hours later, Lilly had fallen asleep in her mother's arms while they ate desert and most aspects of conversation that they normally discussed had been exhausted.

"Are you right with getting home mom?" Gil asked as they stood up a little while later, pulling coats on against the chill of January.

"Yes, don't you worry about me." She said, kissing Gil's cheek before turning to Sara and Lilly who was squirming awake again.

"Thank you for joining us for dinner Dianne."

"It was my pleasure. We really must do this more often though."

"We should." She said as Lilly fully opened her eyes, staring at her grandmother.

"Gand-ma." She said and Dianne shrieked with joy.

"I'm sorry everyone," she said, addressing the restaurant, "But my granddaughter just said 'grand-ma'!" and she pulled Lilly from Sara's arms and hugged her.

"Gand-ma!" Lilly said again, making the old woman beam as she handed the child back to her mother.

"Why don't you come and see us next week? We can have coffee or something." She suggested.

"Of course – and if you ever want a night alone, I am happy to look after Lilly for you." Dianne said and she smiled, with a wave, and she left.

"Mama go sleep, sleep." Lilly said as they walked through the door to their house and Sara smiled.

"She's ready for bed?" Gil asked and she nodded.

"You've finally got the baby talk down." She grinned, taking Lilly straight to her room and putting her to bed, coming out a few minutes later to see Gil standing there with tea.

"Oh – god, this is why I married you." She said, accepting the cup.

"I thought it was because you loved me."

"That too." And Gil kissed her in reply.


	36. Chapter 36

"Isn't Nick coming today?" Sara asked as Mandy lay down on the table a few days before her baby was due.

"He's baby proofing our house. I told him he didn't need to come since he's going to actually going to see our kids in less than a week."

"I think it's actually going to be sooner than that. You might want to call him." She said, looking at the ultrasound.

"What – why?" she asked, panicked, holding the underside of her stomach in slight discomfort.

"You see this on the ultrasound – your uterus is contracting. You're in labour." And she gasped.

"You mean – in a few hours there are going to be… babies falling out of me?"

"Well, I'm here to catch them but that's it yeah." And she handed Mandy her own cell to call Nick, standing back to summon one of the nurses.

"Nick… yeah, it's me…its going fine… Sara says I'm in labour… no you idiot… yes, that's right." And she waved the phone at Sara who promptly took it.

"Hello?" She asked.

"Sara is Mandy pulling my leg or is she really in labour?"

"Leave the cupboard locks for later and come here." And she hung up the phone. "He's coming."

"Thanks Sara. They're a week early – are you sure it's OK?"

"They will be fine." She said, reassuringly. "Do you mind if I check to see how far your labour is before Nick gets here?" and she shook her head as a nurse came in with a wheel chair.

"Two centimetres." She said, taking her glove off her hand and throwing it into the bin, putting the sheet down and tucking Mandy back in. "It explains why you weren't in much pain."

"It's going to get worse?" and Sara nodded sympathetically as Nick ran into the room.

"Hey Sara – Mandy, how are you?" he said, running to her side, kissing her forehead.

"I'm fine." She said and he looked over to Sara for confirmation.

"She is fine Nick. I'm just going to step out for a while, but if you need me, press that button." And she left, closing the door behind her.

Sara pulled out her cell once she had closed the door, dialling a familiar number.

"Hello?" Gil said, answering.

"Hey." She said, sitting down in the waiting area. "Mandy's in labour so Nick isn't coming in today."

"Wow. I'll tell Greg and Catherine. They'll want to know." And she smiled into the receiver.

"Yeah. She's going to be hours though, so she might be ready for visitors by the end of shift."

"I'll tell them." He said.

"You might need to come down though to pick up Lilly – I'll probably be here all night."

"Sara – we've already gotten four call outs, I can't take her. I'm sorry." And she sighed. "We can call Lindsay though."

"Yeah – Ok. I'll give her a call. She'll no doubt want to see Nick and Mandy's twins once they're born."

"Do you think she would mind waiting here with Lilly?"

"I don't think so. I'll call you back in a few and let you know."

"Ok, I love you and tell Mandy and Nick good luck from me."

"I will. Love you too." And they hung up.

Twelve hours later, Lindsay was nodding off in the waiting room, Lilly in her arms. Catherine, Greg and Grissom were sitting around her, all of them waiting for Sara to come out of the room with news. She was in a delivery room with Nick, both of them trying to console a screaming Mandy.

"You are never touching me again Nick. I swear, I am going to rip out your balls and nail them to our bedroom door so you know what will happed if you get me pregnant again." She breathed as he wiped her head with a damp cloth.

"Good Mandy – the first one is almost out – you just have to pass the shoulders." And the young woman screamed again.

Gil, Greg and Lindsay flinched from the waiting room at the sound and Lilly squirmed, waking up.

"Is it really that bad mom?" Lindsay asked and Catherine nodded, Gil taking his daughter.

"When you were born, it felt like I was being ripped in two."

"Poor Mandy – and she has to go through it twice." Greg said.

"You men have no idea. Imagine trying to force something the size of a football being forced through something the size of a breath mint." And they winced again.

"Mom – don't ever let me have kids." She said and they laughed.

"It's a boy." Sara said as one baby slid into her hands and she quickly handed him too the waiting paediatrician to check him over. "Good work Mandy. You've got a couple of minutes and then your other little one will be on the way."

"Hey – he's perfect." Nick said as the doctor handed him his son briefly.

"Oh wow…" Mandy said, a few tears escaping her as she stroked the side of his face.

"Congratulations." Sara said but the joy was short lived as Mandy screamed again.

"Another boy." She smiled five minutes later, handing him off to deliver the afterbirth. "Well done Mandy – really, well done."

"Thanks Sara." She said, taking the first boy as Nick cradled the second.

"Yeah – thank you." Nick said, smiling at his friend.

"Yeah, well, Susie is going to take you back to your room Mandy – you and both your beautiful boys and if you like – I'll go and tell the crowd in the waiting room."

"Go for it." Mandy said, and Sara pulled off her gown, walking out to her husband and friends.

"Well?" Catherine said standing up as Sara took an eager Lilly from Gil.

"Mr Nick Stokes and Mrs Mandy Stokes are the fabulous parents of…"

"Sara – spit it out." Greg said.

"They have two beautiful baby boys." She smiled and there was a cheer from the room.

"How did Mandy do?" Gil asked and she smiled.

"Brilliantly." She said, kissing the top of Lilly's head. "I'd give them an hour or so and then you can go see them both."

"Wow." Lindsay said, hugging her mother and Sara sat down in an empty chair, Gil sitting down again beside her.

"Nick is really happy." She said, wearily resting her head on Gil's shoulder.

"What do the boys look like?"

"Exactly the same – I'm pretty sure that they're identical, not fraternal. And they've got Nick's face shape with Mandy's hair and eyes." She smiled, hugging Lilly close. "I have to go back and check on her. I'll come back in a little while." And Sara handed Lilly back to Gil, walking back into the room.

"Those boys are beautiful." Catherine said as she and the rest of the group gathered in the room where Mandy and Nick were holding their sons.

"We've named this one James Henry," Nick said, nodding to the boy Mandy was holding, "And this one is called Daniel Warrick."

"Congratulations man." Greg said shaking his hand as Catherine hugged Mandy.

"Look Lilly – they are babies, like you but smaller." Sara said, lifting Lilly onto the end of the bed and pointing to the baby boys.

"Beebe!" she cried, waving her arms.

"That's right sweetheart, babies." She smiled.

"Congratulations – both of you." Gil said.

"We should head off, Mandy, if you need anything, give me a ring." She said, standing up.

"Thank you Sara." She said and the three of them left, walking out into the morning.


	37. Chapter 37

Fifteen years later…

The door slamming reverberated throughout the entire house and Sara's head snapped up, looking for the culprit.

"Lilly! How many times do I have to tell you not to slam the door?" she demanded.

"I don't care mom! My stupid English Lit professor won't let me write my paper on the ties that Shakespeare has to modern life. He says I have to do it the same as everyone else. Do you know how insufferable that man is?"

"College is tough honey." She said standing up and giving her daughter a hug. She had started college a full two years early thanks to the intelligent genes her parents had passed on and now in her freshman year, she was getting a taste of the experiences they all had.

Sara sat down on the couch again, putting her glasses on top of her head, pushing her greying hair out of her face, smiling as she heard the music begin to play.

"Honey?" she called and a 'Yes dear' was the response. She got to her feet and walked into the study where Gil was sitting at his desk grading papers. He had left the lab when Lilly was seven for LVU, now working as a professor in the same college his daughter was attending.

"Are you up for some dinner?" she asked, walking over to his desk and kissing the top of his head, taking the pen out of his hand.

"You want me to cook?"

"Well, I do have to go and get Isabelle." Sara smiled and he grinned back, looking at the photo he kept on his desk.

Isabelle was born when Lilly was two and a half and while her sister was the image of her mother, Isabelle was more like her father. Her blonde hair curled around her shoulders in the picture, but it was taken ten years ago and now, at the age of thirteen she was a different girl. She was still at school at the moment, having picked up a sport, much to her parent's surprise, but the field hockey team were not sorry to have her on their team.

"I'll be back in about half an hour." She said, standing up and he kissed her chastely, letting her slip out the door.

"Hey dad?" Lilly said, running back down stairs, a pencil in her hair, papers flying behind her. "Can you talk to Professor Morgan for me?"

"You still don't want to write that paper?"

"I'll write the paper, I just want a different topic." She said, pulling the pencil out of her pony tail.

"I can't pull out stops for you just because I'm working at the same college. Besides, you're pre-med. You grin and bare it till you hit grad school."

"Fine but I do this under protest." She said and she looked up at her father smiling sadly.

"How are you feeling today daddy?" she asked and Gil stood up, limping around his desk.

"I'm alright. It's still only my leg but I will let you know if anything else goes." He said and Lilly stood up, wrapping her arms around him, hugging him tightly. Gil had been diagnosed with Motor Neuron disease six months ago when he lost control of his foot and he had lost control of almost all his left leg since, still only able to work because of the splint he wore on it. Every day when his wife and daughters came home they always asked if he had lost feeling any where else, still smiling hopefully but knowing that he had a death sentence on his head. "You have just got to get through college and med school so you can find me a cure."

"I will daddy – I promise." She said, a few tears slipping down her face.

"Ok, your mother's gone – you want to cook for me?"

"Are you milking it or actually tired?" Lilly asked.

"A little of both." He said sitting down on the couch, lifting his leg up onto the couch as the smells of cooking filled the room.

"Are you sure it's a good day daddy?"

"I'll be with you for a long time yet." He said, kissing her as she came over to check that he wasn't lying. They let the room lapse into silence, Lilly still cooking and Gil reading the paper, the only noise coming when the front door opened.

"Dad!" Isabelle cried, seeing him sitting on the couch and she launched herself into his arms, the way she had every time she saw him since she was three.

"Good training?" he asked as Sara sat down in the chair opposite them.

"Yeah. They're making me the goalie!"

"That's great honey." He said, kissing her temple and she beamed, getting off him to pick at the food her sister was making. "Lilly had already gone through the 'good day' conversation – I'm fine." He said, knowing that she was looking at his leg.

"You worry me honey." Sara said massaging his bad leg. He had no movement, but felt any pleasure or pain it caught.

"I try not to." He said, sitting more up right and kissing her lightly as Lilly came over with a plate for each of them.

"So, how are you really feeling?" Sara asked as she helped Gil change for bed that night.

"I feel fine…"

"But?" she asked worriedly and he looked up at her honest gaze. He couldn't keep anything from her, ever and she could see the truth in his eyes.

"I can't raise my left eyebrow." He said and a few tears slipped down Sara's face.

"It's progressing?"

"I didn't want to say anything in front of the girls." He said, rubbing her back, knowing that his mortality was something she feared.

"I'm calling your neurologist tomorrow to let him know. Maybe he'll put you on different medications or something." But Gil grabbed her hands.

"I am not dying Sara. Not yet." He said and she nodded, letting him kiss her again. "I love you."

"I love you… too…" she sobbed, clinging to his shirt, letting her tears soak his shirt.


	38. Chapter 38

For nine years Gil survived, Sara nursing as he lost more and more of his control, his daughters growing up around him. By the time Lilly had finished college and Isabelle had started, he had lost complete use of his legs and was confined to a wheel chair. Isabelle had taken all his classes while she was at school, just to make him proud and Lilly was spending all her spare time at med school, helping the Motor Neuron Disease research centre, trying to get her father the best care available.

Sara had cut back her work as an OB, even though she was now a partner in her practice to spend time with her husband, holding his water up so he could sip from it or changing his catheter bag. When Gil died at the age of 78, the three girls clung to each other, wanting… needing the support from each other. It had been years coming and yet the night he slipped away had not been different to any other so the cold body Sara had woken up to the next morning made her break down.

"Sara?" came Catherine's voice and she turned around to see her old friend standing there.

"Hey Cath." She said, looking up – her eyes red from emotion.

"How are you three holding up?" she asked, giving Sara a hug, repeating it with her nieces.

"Aunty Catherine." Isabelle said and she and Lilly walked over to some of their father's other friends – Nick, Mandy, Brass and Greg.

"He's gone." Sara said, letting the tears roll down her face and she sat down in the grass on top of her husband's grave.

"He's not suffering any more though Sara."

"I know… It's just… He wanted to stay alive to see his grandchild born." And they looked over at Lilly, who at twenty six had gotten married and was expecting a child within three months.

"I think it was his time to go. He didn't want to meet someone new only to leave them a few days or weeks later." Catherine said, siting down beside her friend, watching her play with the engraving on the stone.

"Dr Gilbert Grissom. Born August 17 1957, Died October 4th 2035. A loving husband and father – dedicated to his family and passions.

_What life if lost is life gained,_

_What the heart knows, the soul finds,_

_What the body sees, the sprit is._" Catherine read, the words Sara had chosen for his tomb stone a couple of days ago. "What do the lines of poetry lines mean?"

"Gil asked me to put them on it. I still don't know what it means."

"You'll understand in time." And she stood up, walking over to her friends, Isabelle and Lilly walking back over to their mother.

"Mom?" Lilly said and she looked over at her eldest. "I have something I think dad would want to know."

"What is it?" she asked, Isabelle cuddling into her side, even though she was twenty three.

"Mark and I found out a couple of days before dad died that we're having a boy. We're going to name him Gilbert, after dad."

"That's beautiful sweetheart." She said standing up, pulling both her daughters into her arms.

"Mom?" Isabelle said and she gave her younger offspring a tighter squeeze. "I think we should go home. Dad wouldn't want us to stand here and wallow."

"You're right." And the girls let her go walking back over to the group but Sara stood still.

She pulled a jar out of her pocket and sat it down beside the head stone. None of the group could see what she was doing but after a few minutes, several butterflies fluttered out of the jar, soaring to the sky.

"I'll never forget you honey. I love you and always will." She whispered, kissing her fingertips and touching the stone. "Goodbye." And she walked away, joining her family and friends.


End file.
